Pandora's Aquarium: Good music and not so good thoughts. - Pandora's Aquarium

I am in the same place as you. Have you thought of going to your local women shelter or rape clinic? Most places have one, they will help you. Also just FYI no one will have to know that you met with anyone. It is all confidential. I myself had a hard time admitting to myself that I should meet someone. I self harmed for 3 years, blamed myself for everything that had happened for almost 4 and shoved everything under the rug until two months ago. I finally realized I should get help when I hit rock bottom at the four year anniversary and drank after a flashback because I just wanted to help myself let go and relax. I never drink when upset, not even after a death. So i saw my first counselor yesterday and I cant tell you if it has really done anything yet since I have only had one meeting however, I do feel better about my future. Just knowing I have someone in close proximity that can help me during my monthly few day rape depressions. Someone I can hold onto for support. I can tell you from first hand exp that shoving it under the carpet and trying to move through it will come back and bite you in the ass. Its like lugging around a cement brick tied to your ankle. After a while you get used to it, maybe to the point that you can forget about it for a bit. But its still there and its still dragging you down. If you want to talk I am always here, but def go get help. Btw if you tell them you self harm it wont be the end of the world. Apparently many survivors did that, I told my T and she didn't try to commit me or anything. She explained that that action is very normal for survivors. You would be surprised how understanding they can be. :] If you need to talk I am here :]

you could just see a therapist that isn't related to the school, if you're worried about what a school's counselor will think of u. in any case, the counselor is required to keep her mouth shut abt wat u say, so don't worry abt ur stuff leaking out to the student body/staff. if you're worried about getting into trouble- wat do u mean? were u drunk when something happened (and ur underage)? because even if that's the case, you WILL NOT get into trouble. the cop that i reported my abuse to said that directly to me.