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I do think that school is bringing this on. I just DISLIKE sitting in classes and find them boring and sad because I just feel like I am not getting ANYTHING done and that it takes time out of my writing time. Sounds dumb but have always disliked school since a hs junior but my mom and a lot of other people always say that you need college in order to get somewhere and whatnot when they have not been to college themselves. I know that college can help but I do disagree that film students need to go. Even another film student at my school said that he felt he wasted time and whatnot by going to college since he just wants to go out and film on his own.
I just get upset/mad because I wonder why cannot THEY (my so-called loving father who abused me b/c of his drinking and my brother who not only abused me mentally and emotionally but took my purity) get this! The pain, anxiety and whatnot. But then I tell myself-or at least try to-that wishing bad on them is not WORTH it because I know for a FACT that they will pay their dues and most likely they are NOT happy and are most likely miserable but if they decide to deny the abuse (like they have) then let them live their lives of B.S. LIES and I will just simply write about them and send them a personal copy of my stories for a big F*** YOU!
Felt good somewhat to write this.