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Trying so hard to keep on the rails.

Posted by Clemsta , 23 August 2013 · 174 views

Feeling like everything is out of my control.
Feeling like I'm rowing without a paddle.
Just want to find a rock and crawl under it.
Just want to hide from everyone.
Can't be arsed with the pretending.
Can't be arsed with the same old shit everyday.
Trying so hard to not self harm, and its taking all of my energy.
Trying to be brave.
So fed up of feeling 'crazy' and being 'fucked up'.
Fed up of feeling like a failure.
Trying so hard to concentrate and get through University.
But how can I? When I feel like this all the time.
On the verge of tears all the time.
Having break downs after break down...
When will this stop? Why hasn't it stopped???

I don't know if it ever stops but I do know it can get easier. Please hang in there. You are so worth it.
I'm getting to a point where i realise it'll never go away but it will get easier and will learn to live with it... doesnt make it easy though xx thanks, hope you're okay

May 2015

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