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What is forgiveness?

Posted by Nessa7 , 17 October 2013 · 236 views

"You can forgive without allowing the abuse to continue"

I wrote this to a friend earlier toay. And I've been thinking about it more, and what it has meant in my life. I have been through this with my father and forgiving him for the physical abuse when i was a child.. at least mostly.

But I'm not sure I'm even close to ready with the sexual abuse I've endured. But having gone through this with some issues, I feel I know something about the subject. :confused:

What is forgiveness?

Forgiveness is NOT...

  • forgetting the abuse
  • excusing the abuse
  • saying everything is okay or that IT was okay
  • leaving it in the past
  • understanding why it happened
  • admitting fault

You don't even HAVE to forgive if you don't want to! That's right.. you don't have to forgive your abuser. It's something that some people choose to do when are ready (and it's OKAY if you're never ready).

The words "you need to forgive me" from an abuser or abusive person.. is another form of abuse. It's emotional abuse. They are not owning up to their actions, and they want you to feel guilty for it.

I found this VERY good article on the subject. I think every survivor of any kind of abuse should read it: http://johnshore.com...nd-forgiveness/

Oct 25 2013 05:37 AM
Wow, I've just read the blog:amazing!
Thank you for sharing!
I was part of a Buddhist organisation for 8 years and I couldn't talk about the abuse I survived without getting: "The teaching encourages us to have compassion and to forgive: your uncle and your Mother are very unhappy you know. You choose to be born to this family to fulfill your mission and change your karma... It is your responsability to make your family happy. You are so full of anger!! You have done something bad in one of your past live so here is your chance to make it all better."
At the beginning I believed all this crap... I thought everybody else knew better until as I was healing, I realised that only I knew best how to deal with all of this! I started to open my mouth and they didn't like it... I left...

Love and Light,
Happy Little Buddha :lol:

July 2016

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