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I dont know why i cant let go of it. its been almost four yrs and I wish I didnt have to think about it. todays my ex husbands birthday. if i could forgive him i woulda wished him a happy birthday but i dont want it to be happy. is that vindictive? i wish i could just let go of everything all the bad memories and mistakes ive made. i wish i could be one of the those powerful people that turn bad things into something good. but it was like I got stuck in quicksand when I was wallowing in self pityl. how do you forget it forgive it and let go? how?
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I don't think it is self pity to work through pain whether it is emotional, mental and/or physical. Pain is painful. Some pain takes longer to heal than others. SA is the worst invasive abuse there is and when it involves someone we trust it is the worst kind of betrayal.
I believe that letting go will come naturally when your whole being is ready to let it all go. You are not stuck as you working on healing. Being here at Pandys is evidence of that.
You are being too hard on yourself. Everyone makes mistake. It is part of living and the learning experience. Be kind, loving and gentle with yourself. It is what you deserve.
BTW I hope you ex has an awful birthday without feelings of vindictiveness.
Blessings
You can do it! you can forgive when you're ready, and you can breathe and you can be strong. you can let go of your mistaks, breathe in and breathe out and tell yourself that you are a good person, you are loved, you are worth and you are one of the millions of wonderful imperfect people on this planet who makes mistakes.
You are wonderful!!