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"You're Lying" - Terrible Secondary Wound Can we discuss please? *T*
Posted 13 July 2004 - 01:46 PM
I will hate them forever.
Posted 14 July 2004 - 03:19 AM
Posted 12 August 2004 - 12:18 PM
And on another thought: WHY would ANYONE lie or make up a story about something as HORRID as sexual abuse? Its hard enough for us to tell our story because it is TRUE!
Posted 23 March 2006 - 01:37 PM
Posted 25 March 2006 - 01:30 AM
I totally agree, Sherri. I think Aphrodite Matsakis makes that point in her book that a secondary wound can feel as bad if not worse in some ways as the original trauma. Who among us wouldn't have found healing easier if we hadn't had to deal with waves of invalidation and disbelief?
Your opinion counts for a lot hon :)/>
Posted 25 March 2006 - 11:59 AM
I remember this bitch nurse hanging around laughing ( I know I was fucked up but the feelings I was having weren't coming from thin air) and saying, "Is she even human?"
I felt like I was made completely inhuman so that even if it did happen to me it didn't matter.
Posted 17 August 2006 - 02:04 PM
Posted 17 August 2006 - 04:40 PM
and it really hurts thinking that when i see him again or one day he may ask me to explain or even prove that what happened really happened isnt that terrible im scared , scared shit less i mean what do you say
i could say ' fuck you dont beleive me im not bothered'
but the problem is i am it hurts that people think im lieing what sort of sick person would do that
i shouldnt have to tell my story to lets face it a complete stranger
any advice is greatly appreciated
Posted 05 September 2006 - 03:28 PM
That was the moment when I decided I can't have a good relationship with her, ever.
Posted 05 September 2006 - 10:03 PM
it made me sick to know that HE was trying to lie to me, and that i caught him in a lie....red handed.
my own mother never accused me of lying, but totally BLAMED me and i felt like our relationship was completely ruined for at least a yr and a half..... i still could never possibly forgive her...and when i visit at home, though it has been years later, i sometimes wonder how i can carry on with life around her as if it never happened. i regret telling anyone in my family, especially my mom.
her lil girl was RUINED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :(/>
Posted 06 September 2006 - 10:36 AM
I've been told plenty of things about both incidents that happened to me...
My best friend told me that whilst she belived that I didn't give consent I had no right to call what happened to me rape becuase I wasn't dragged off the street....
My other friend told me that yeah something happened but not rape....:-S
I've also been told that I must have said yes but forgotten as I was drunk....I was too drunk to give consent..being in and out of conciousness and I know I didnt say yes....
I had same friend tell me it didnt count as he was only inside me for a few mins and he had told he hadnt came.....so if he hadnt ejeculated it wasnt rape :-S
I was told about the second incident that i just shouldnt have let him sleep in my bed...the fact i was already asleep there when the guy got in it (was at a house party) aparantly dosnt matter...
My ex boyfriends mum told me that these things happen to loads of people and there was no point crying about it...
someone also told me that if it happened to them it wouldnt bother them at all...and my ex told me that most of the girls he knew would have woken up and kicked him in the balls and forgot about it....
Posted 06 September 2006 - 10:39 AM
I am really sorry you had to hear such rubbish. Rape is not defined by being dragged of the street it is defined by whether a person consented to sex or not so your friends comment makes no sense at all. I hope being here is helping you to disregard all these comments.
Posted 10 September 2006 - 08:23 PM
Anyway, I always feel like its personal, like the newspaper is calling me a liar...
Posted 10 September 2006 - 08:35 PM