Pandora's Aquarium: My Uncensored Life Chapter Three - Pandora's Aquarium

The second place we lived with the evil stepfather was a red bricked apartment building. It was two buildings two storied facing each other. We lived in the lower first apartment in the first building. I believe my mother and evil stepfather were the managers of this apartment complex. I more memories of this place than I do of those that follow. I believe it is because the abuse probably began here and was not severe yet.

Directly across from us in the same first apartment live a family that became longtime friends. They had a son around my age. His name was Lyle. He had lots of toys and some of them were girl toys. He had a tea set with mini table and chairs. I believe his mom watched my sister and I sometimes. Anyway we spent alot of time over there playing with Lyle. His mom was nice to us.

There were two other boys I played with, Cotten and Mike. They were a year older than me. They walked me to and from school when I started kindergarden. They would tell me outrageous stories to scare me. The once told me that the water puddles on the way to school were really quicksand and if I stepped in one I would be sucked under. Another time we were playing a hide and seek game and I was it and I was covered by a blanket. When I sat down I sat on a bee. It stung my on my thigh. I screamed bloody murder cuz the bee was stuck to my thigh too. All the kids playing were trying to help. My mother finally came out and got the bee off and took me to the apartment. I remember she had to get tweezers to pull out the stinger. She doctored it and put on a bandaid. I went back outside and one of the kids told me they stomped on the bee and killed it.

The last memory I have of Cotton and Mike was when they took me behind the second building of apartments. The told me they would show me their butt if I showed them mine. I ran and told my mom. Then I saw them and they both were crying as they both got spanked. I don't think I was allowed to play with them after that. This memory makes me think that my sexual abuse had not started yet but I am not sure. Why would I tell a minor incident and not a larger one? Doesn't make sense.

I remember I liked kindergarden. My best friend's name was Bambi. She sort of looked like a pretty doe. I still have my school picture of kindergarden. I still recognize Bambi. I also have a vague memory of going to school with a sling on my arm. I do not know what caused the injury.

The evil stepfather worked nights so my sister and I had to be quiet in the mornings when he first got home and then to bed. We had separate twin beds in the same room. We would kick our bed covers and arrange them to be homes for our barbies and we would play house until our mom came for us.

I remember someone put a snake in our milkbox. Yes this was long enough ago that milk was delivered door to door.

I remember my real dad gave me a gold fish. One day while my mom was gone the evil stepfather did not like something I did so he took my gold fish as I watched him drop it down the kitchen sink and then ran the water. All gone my gold fish. He told my mother that it died cuz I did not take proper care of it. A lie, the fish was murdered.

Five year old's do not dress well sometimes. I not only put my underwear on backwards I managed to also put them on inside out. My mother made come show the evil stepfather as she laughed and laughed. I did not want to show him and I did not think it was funny. Then the evil stepfather helped me put on the underwear correctly. I still can feel the hatred I had for him and the anger I had for my mother. I believe this is when the sexual abuse started.

My evil stepfather always had a perfect crew cut. To this day I am repulsed by any man who has a drew cut. Fortunately not many have this kind of haircut. He always called me Mud Hen. He frequently thumped me in the middle of my forehead with his middle finger and thumb. He made us eat one bite of each thing on our plate then a drink of milk. If it was something we did not like and we complained we would get more of it on our plate. To this day I cannot eat raw tomatoes. Just the smell of them makes me gag. I do however cook with canned tomatoes usually my mom's from their garden. I learned to not brush my teeth the first time around cuz he always sent me again. He took baths with me.

Whew!! this ends chapter three. Blessings to all who actually read all of this.