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Posted by meghan716 , 14 August 2013 · 114 views

I thought dating an older guy would be cool. He was four years older than me and I was worried I would loose him if I didn't do what he wanted. I was only fifteen at the time. I don't remember a lot of our two year "relationship". I only remember him hitting me or grabbing me if I wasn't in the mood. He didn't care, in fact I think he liked it more. He would tell me I wasn't that pretty and I wasn't that smart. If I got a 90 on a test, he would yell at me for not getting a 100. I was a confident girl until I met him. I didn't even notice what he was doing to me. He told me I should stop eating so much, so I did. I thought he was being nice and looking out for me. But that was the last thing he was doing. He cheated on me consistently throughout the entire duration of whatever we were. He never used a condom because he didn't want to. He changed me so much for the worse. It's only been five years but I still struggle with the depression from all the abuse he put me through. Physical, emotional, and sexual. I struggle with how I feel about myself. I always am worried about my weight because of how often he would control my eating. He has tried to come and find me and that scares me so much. I don't know what he would do to me, or how it would make me feel. I used to feel good that I could be the one to make him happy. Looking back at it, I never made him happy. He was making himself happy by taking everything away from me.

Aug 14 2013 10:58 AM
i think that recovering from relationships like that are almost as hard as being in them. i know "don't be so hard on yourself" is much easier said than done, but when you're struggling, just remember that you're beautiful. don't convince yourself that you aren't because of him. i'll be praying for you, if that's okay.
Thank you for your kind words of encouragement and your prayers! I'll keep you in mine as well!

July 2016

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