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Posted by bellachai , 19 May 2014 · 547 views

Whenever I go out to my mother's place as I did this last Saturday I practice a mantra while driving:  Please no TMI today, Please no TMI today......  Since my dad died my mother has this new thing of telling me stuff I really do not want to know, way too much information.  My mantra did not work this last Saturday.  Oh my!!!!
My daughter was going to go with me (if she is with me the TMI stuff does not happen) but she wanted me to tell my mother that she is getting married cuz she and the entire world knows how much my mother does not like my daughter's fiancé. My mother gives no reason for her dislike or anything he may have done to her personally.  My mother recently asked me to ask my daughter and her fiancé if they would come and help her with getting soil into her potting pots.  I had to tell her that the boyfriend is not going anywhere that he has not been welcomed.  Why would anyone want to go where they were not liked or wanted?
The telling of the marriage was a bit surprising.  My mother wanted to know why my daughter did not want to have a bigger wedding.  I said what would be the point of that who would go?  His mother is crazy and abusive.  His father might go but he is an alcoholic with a despised step mother who probably would not go.  He is an only child so there are no siblings and cousins are distant.  My daughter's family does not like who she is marrying so why invite them to where they don't want to be. Neither of them have any friends.   So in the end I would be the only one to attend.  My mother said she would like to go and she would also like to help my daughter buy a dress for the occasion. Alrighty then!Posted Image
My mother and I spoke of my Grandmother some.  She admitted that she did not like her mother but she respected her.  I loved my grandmother so very much and I respected her as well.  She was an amazingly strong woman.  But then she treated me way different than anyone else.  As far as I can remember I was the only one my Grandmother hugged or gave any affection to in words.  I never saw my Grandmother and mother show affection to each other.  We also lived with my Grandmother for 4 years.
My mother updated me on my sister since she called on Mother's day and that is the first time in 6 weeks that she has called.  That hurts my mother's feelings.  However, it is no surprising to me and they both have done terrible things to each other over the years.  The last time my sister visited was my dad's funeral two and a half years ago.  My sister self medicates with alcohol.  Me I am done with my sister. 
My mother told me that when my sister's husband was granted disability she called her and said 'oh mom you are going to be so mad'  My mother asked why?  My sister told her that her husband got disability on the first try.  My mother asked why would that make her mad?  Well because it took me her sister nearly five years to get it.  (Mom said she could hear the glee in her voice)  Mom told her that my heart did not stop 4 times in the hospital and her husband's health is far worse than mine.  I do what the doctors tell me to do to maintain my health and he does not.  Posted Image
My mother had a ground squirrel under one of her potting sheds and is a nuisance so she got a trap and trapped the squirrel and her 9 babies and drove them over to her neighbor's.  He has a junk pile that he does not care if they go in there.  It is the neighbor she really wants to talk about.  I swear she has some lust crush on him.  He is around my son's age.  At 78 she still dyes her hair black.  She is very vain.  She told me it was really difficult for her when my dad was diagnosed with prostate cancer cuz her libido went into action.  She recently had to buy herself a sex toy. 
I said nothing but perhaps I should have suggested she stop getting her estrogen shots that she gives herself every month since she was 36 years old.
So now I have these visions of when she dies that I find the sex toy before my nephew or wife or any other relative that will help sort through her stuff to find. 
She shared stuff like this when I was a teenager regarding her boyfriends.  I did not think that appropriate even back then.  Do mother's confide such things to daughters in less dysfunctional families than mine?  IDK  TMIPosted Image

May 19 2014 04:39 PM

I don't know how less dysfunctional my family is than yours, but I must admit they do or at least mine does.  I have had the misfortune of my mother telling me about her "sexcapades" as well ....TMI...ah gross.  I have the same sex toy fear....yikes


thanks for sharing.....I think?  lol

May 19 2014 06:17 PM

oh wow, i can see how you'd be totally uncomfortable with this.  what an awkward situation to have to be in!  i can't speak for other families...but, i'd say my family is pretty dysfunctional and i honestly can't imagine my mom telling me something like that!  Ugh, i'm so sorry you had to put up with that.


also, congrats on your daughter's wedding.  i'm sorry that her fiance hasn't felt welcomed by your mother...that has to be difficult.  i wish him and your daughter all the happiness in the world.


safe hugs, my friend,

barelysurviving -  Well it is too bad I am not alone in this awkward disturbing TMI stuff.  I thank you for your comments cuz I was thinking that maybe I am some kind of prude or something.  I would never share that kind of stuff with my daughter nor does she to me.  I am okay with that.  LOL


(((shelliebelle)))  Things are finally looking up for my daughter and her boyfriend.  I hope with my entire being it stays that way.  I hope all is well with you my friend.  :)

I have basically had to be my mothers therapist/sister/mother/spouse since she and my father separated when I was 12. She does the TMI thing openly and intentionally without shame. Literally she often begins with "You don't want me to tell you this but . . . " "I shouldn't be telling you this but . . ."  on rare occasions she basically says that there is something that she shouldn't tell me/I don't want to listen to and then asks me if she should tell me . . . I scream no and she tells me anyway. 

wow just wow. I suppose she doesn't have anyone else to confess to - but yeah that is just  too much - to hear from  mother.

(((Sugar))) - I am sorry your mother does the TMI thing.  Most of the time when she 'shares' I am rendered speechless with a frown and she just goes on and on.....  I am still not very good about setting boundaries especially with her.


(((Zelda))) - thank you for your reply.  Hope all is well with you.

July 2016

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