lisalis

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About lisalis

  • Birthday 08/22/1989

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  • Gender identity
    Female
  • Membership Type
    Survivor
  • Location
    Texas
  1. I can second that....I am right there with you right now. I can sit with you while we both work through these scary thoughts. I am a student too and school feels like too much. Maybe you can try what I am doing and just focus on one class? Sending you support
  2. hi profmatt, I dont see a problem with you using your picture as your avatar. For your information this is the policy for Pandy's on use of pictures: I am not sure if you noticed but I also have a picture of myself as my avatar picture. Welcome to Pandy's by the way I see that you are new around here. If you have any questions about the board or what to post where let me or another moderator (maroon color member title like mine is section moderators, and blue is moderators of the board) know. take care, llsalis
  3. hi there justme. although for different reasons I know how you feel about the holidays, and I myself am feeling like mr. scrooge right now. I just want to be a hermit and I am not wanting to be around family right now either. Anyway not too much advice,,,I apologize, but I did want to tell you I understand how you feel...will be thinking of you. Lisalis
  4. Without Pandy's I never would have had the courage to seek out therapy and come such a long way in recovering.
  5. I have been here since 2007 so 4 years I guess....wow lol. This board literally helped me crawl out of a really really dark hole and with Pandys and great therapy I am doing okay now. Thanks Pandys Lisalis
  6. Thanks Emma for your reply Its so good to know I am not alone in this. It definitely helped to hear you say you have become closer to your inner child this way as I have struggled with knowing my inner child well in the past. Also the feeling you mentioned about being rediculed or knocked down describes me well and is definitely a big fear of mine I hope soon I can learn to trust my therapist more, I do really trust him now already I hope the bond will grow stronger. Thanks again for your reply its so great that someone understands.
  7. living a lonely existance

    hey, wow I have not used this in a long time, i am thinking that maybe I should more often, I went to T on friday and it was just a really hard session, made contact with my inner child and we did what my T is calling chair work which is basically me talking to myself at 5 and my 5 year old self talking to me. It is just so hard I dont like to do this stuff but I know I can never grow anymore without this, I just feel like I cannot trust anyone, I havent really felt that before especially in this magnitude. It definitely stems from my inner child because when I am in that "mode" of being a child the not trusting people is even worse. But again its definitely more prominent in all aspects of my life then I am used to, I used to be/am? social but I am feeling more of a need to pull away from those I am close to for fear of being hurt. Its like I cant show anyone how scared and vulnerable I am because they will hurt me in some way. I don't 100% believe that but thats how I feel inside. I know everyone needs people and I definitely need people but with some of the things I am dealing with needing and being close to people is going to be so difficult for me. I guess i say I feel like I am living a lonely existance becuase I feel I cant reach out for the support i once had in my friends, its my choice or my change in feeling but make no mistake i feel my support is gone and I cant tell anyone anything and that is so hard for me I just dont know how I am going to get back to trusting people again and feeling okay about being nearby others who I dont trust as much, I am hoping lunch with my good friend this week will go okay, I need to be able to talk to her I hope I can
  8. I know of a crisis line in Houston that isnt a rape crisis line but they handle all types of issues including rape and abuse. (Also they dont just serve houston they sserve surounding areas too) Its called Crisis Intervention of Houston 713-Hotline(468-5463)
  9. hi lost soul, I first off have to tell you I feel your pain I remember it well. I am glad you have the support of friends and family I didnt have anyone except an advocate and I wished so much my boyfriend could have been there. do you have anything small that comforts you? like something soft or smooth I put my comforting object in my pocket and just kept stroking it. It sort of helped. I hope you have the outcome you want and very much deserve. He deserves the worst punishment he can get for what he did to you. (((((((lost)))))) (if ok)
  10. boys 2 men does a great song called I will get there that i really love Ohohah Hey Yeah I've been wanderin' 'round in the dark Been lost somewhere where no light could shine on my heart I have known a pain so deep But I know my faith will free me [Get there] And I'll get through this [Get there] I'll find my way again So don't tell me that it's over 'Cause each step just gets me closer (I will get there) I will get there (I will get there) I will get there somehow Cross that river (Cross that river) Nothing's stoppin' me now I will get through the night (Oh, yes, I will) And make it through to the other side (Get there) Get there (Get there) Get there I've been in these chains for so long I'll break free and I'll be there where I belong Hold my head up high, I'll stand tall And I swear this time I won't fall [Get there] I will do this [Get there] No matter what it takes 'Cause I know no limitations And I'll reach my destination, I will get there I will get there (I will get there) I will get there (Ooh) somehow (Somehow) Cross that river (Cross that river) Nothing's stoppin' me now I will get through the night And make it through to the other side (Ooh, get there) Get there (Get there) Get there Well, the night is cold and dark But somewhere the sun is shining And I'll feel it shine on me I'll keep on tryin', I'll keep on tryin' I will get there (I will get there) I will get there somehow Cross that river (Cross that river) Nothing's stoppin' me now I will get through the night And make it through to the other side Get there, get there I will get there (I will get there) I will get there somehow (Somehow) Cross that river (I'll cross that river for you) Nothing's stoppin' me now (OhwhoaI) I will get through (Through) the night And make it through to the other side (Ohhoohho) (Get there) Get there (Ooh, get there) Get there (Whoaoh) I will get there (I will get there) I will get there somehow (Somehow) Cross that river (I'll cross it for your love) Nothing's stoppin' me now (No matter what) I will get through the night (I will get through the night) And make it through to the other side (Get there) Get there (Ooh, get there) Get there Get there Ohhooh I'll get there
  11. AHH

    why does this happen everywhere I feel safe and like going??? there was a perv at the dog park and he kept asking me questions that were totally inappropriate the next thing he could have done was assault me. I don't feel like I can go anywhere. All I hear is shark attack music wherever I go. and I am the fish. I just cant take another time and every man I see I think he could do bad to me. And its graphic in my head too I get so paranoid. I have to go pick up pizza now and I'm still scared, I wish my boyfriend could understand he just wants me to brush things like this off but inside it slowly destroys me. I don't feel like I can go anywhere. I hope no one minds I am somewhat angry and hurt in this post i just need someone to listen to me and tell me Im not crazy I feel so crazy. Thanks for listening.
  12. Im sorry that happened to you hun. I know its frusterating to find out something worse happened to us when we had a hard time dealing with the first thing.
  13. starting group today

    I am starting a sexual assault group tonight and I am a little worried Ive done this before but when I am with other survivors in real life its harder to open up sometimes. I am excited too becuase I have what someone described to me before as ego states and I have a little 4 year old me that is desperate to meet someone else like herself..er myself? Im still not so sure. Thats it for now I guess.
  14. that would be awesome shannon pandys is too hard to just do on the browser
  15. uh huh we can get to be on a pirate ship and we can protect each other from the scary monsters.