Cherry Blossom

  • Content count

  • Joined

  • Last visited


About Cherry Blossom

  • Rank
    answers to goddess

Contact Methods

  • Website URL
  1. "Nobody heard him, the dead man, But still he lay moaning: I was much further out than you thought And not waving but drowning. Poor chap, he always loved larking And now he's dead It must have been too cold for him his heart gave way, They said. Oh, no no no, it was too cold always (Still the dead one lay moaning) I was much too far out all my life And not waving but drowning." This has always been my favourite poem whenever I'm feeling distanced from the rest of the world.
  2. I've been listening to a lot of violent music lately. Mostly Tool (Jerk-off and Opiate) and some Korn. It helps me come to terms with my anger, which is great because I never felt like I was aloud to be angry about anything. Plus I've gotten hooked on Tori's "Waitress" song, just because it feels amazingly good to be able to scream "I believe in peace bitch" over and over again.
  3. Where are You? - Wilson Phillips I'm all grown up But somehow, it feels like I'm pretending Visions of my younger years, they are buried But the scenes that play inside of me, are impending They are never ending... Where, where, where, where, where are you? You don't have to look out that window, anymore. You can just come back to yourself, you can come back to this world. Where are you? Tell me who heard you. And where are you? He led me into his room, and had me lay down My heart, and my soul, and anything else that you could own, When you're six years old. But now I'm older Such a quiet secret, it hurt too much trying hard to keep it. Oh, and I looked up to you... I wanted so much to believe in you. I wanted so much for you to believe it me. Oh I tried, I tried. Where, where, where, where, where are you? You don't have to look out anymore. I don't have to look out of that window anymore. I can just, come back to myself, I can come back this world Where are you? Tell me who heard you? And where are you now? Where are you? Where are you? Where are you? Where are you? Tell me who hurt you.
  4. When I tried to report they didn't listen. And I know I don't have the courage to try again. But I admire those that do go through with the legal process, and hope that someone is listening to their voices the way I wished they'd listen to mine. I did feel guilty for a while, thinking that I should have tried harder, and not given up under pressure. But it would have been a crippling experience for me, it still is, in a way. So I did what I had to, in order to keep myself safe. And I know I'm not responsible for anything he chooses to do with his life. It's his decision, his crime, and his blame. It's great if you can bring some a***ole to justice and prevent anyone else from getting hurt. But you have to take care of yourself first.
  5. It was my fault because….. 1. It was my fault because I never said 'no'. 2. It was my fault because I kept going back. 3. It was my fault because I wore those tempting things. 4. It was my fault because I flirted and initiated contact. 5. It was my fault because I loved him. 6. It was my fault because it felt good. 7. It was my fault because he wasn't old enough to know better. 8. It was my fault because I consented. 9. It was my fault because it keeps happening again and again so it must be something about me that's wrong. 10. It was my fault because nobody ever said that it wasn't. 11. It was my fault because I can't remember everything and if it was really that bad I would remember, right? 12. It was my fault because I asked for it. 13. It was my fault because I still love him. It wasn't my fault because…. 1. It was not my fault because I shouldn't have had to say 'no' in the first place. I was only seven years old. Besides I was taught to be a good girl and obey my elders so I never thought I had the power to say 'no'. 2. It was not my fault because children crave attention and love any way they can get it and sexual touching with him was the only affection offered to me at the time. 3. It was not my fault because since when are a little girl's panties supposed to be tempting? I wore frilly dresses because they were pretty not to seduce or entice others. 4. It wasn't my fault because I was a child, dammit. I didn't know what I was doing or what the touching meant. All I knew was that I loved him and he was giving me attention. 5. It wasn't my fault because you're supposed to love your family. It doesn't mean that it was okay for him to abuse me and my love and trust in him like that. That fact that I loved him makes it an even bigger betrayal. 6. It wasn't my fault because I can't control my body's reactions. Stimulus of the clitoris will provoke a response no matter who does it. Besides which, I enjoyed the attention and praise he gave me afterwards more then the touching. 7. It wasn't my fault because even if he wasn't legally an adult he was still older then me. Besides, he knew it was wrong or else he wouldn't have told me not to tell anybody what we were doing. If he can claim lack of responsibility sue to age then I, at a younger age, am certainly not a fault either. And just because no blame can be laid doesn't make it any less an abuse of my person. 8. It wasn't my fault because I was only seven years old and could not give legal consent. Even if I agreed to sexual contact he should have said 'no' because I was a child. 9. It wasn't my fault because I didn't ask for any of it, and just because I was victimized once doesn't mean that it should be open season. There's nothing wrong with me, and everything wrong with those who hurt me. 10. It wasn't my fault. I'm saying it now. And others have said it too, but the only one who matters saying it is me. It wasn't my fault. 11. It wasn't my fault because I was young at the time and might have blocked things from my memory that were unpleasant or too traumatizing for me to deal with. Lots of people do that. It's normal. 12. It wasn't my fault because I didn't ask for sex. I asked for love and affection and praise and he gave it to me in the form of sex. He could have given love to me in another form and I would have been just as happy. Besides, I didn't even know what sex was, just that if I touched him certain places he would smile at me and pat my head. 13. It wasn't my fault because I'm a better person then he is and have such a compassionate, forgiving heart that I can still love him. But loving him doesn't mean I let him hurt me or abuse me again. I can love someone and still stay far away from them for my own safety.
  6. Add this special tidbit to the fuckwit mix: "Rape is terrible, but in the end, it's up to you to defend yourself." Uh...excuse me? So because I wasn't able to get away it's my fault for being raped? Well it all becomes clear to me now! What on earth was I whineing about? Thank you for your wisdom oh intelligent one. "There are those who will take advantage of the drunken ones and influence their decision, but ultimately, YOU GOT YOURSELF THERE, I don't care if someone slipped something into your drink; the slipper did not force you to continue drinking your beverage or whatever the case may be. I'm sure there are those instances where you may be forced into doing it from some threat or whatever, but ultimately: You got yourself there. Period. You chose to go, you chose to hang out with those people, you chose to form the opinion of those people, you chose to trust them." And they betrayed that trust didn't they? And exactly what opinion did I form? Oh my gosh did I forget to take the "please rape me, I'm easy!" sticker off my shirt when I went out? Stupid me. I'll have to be more careful who I trust next time, won't I? Stupid halfwit. ::snort:: But hey, I'll just take up knitting, order me some chinese food and wear a paper bag over my head so my long hair won't show and nobody will bother me, right? Utter, utter morons.
  7. Why didn't you fight harder... I've only had it asked of me once by a very stupid ex-friend. At first I couldn't believe that she said it so it took me a while to respond, but when I eventually did I said something like: "Am I alive, right now, talking to you, coherantly and in good health?" "Yes." "Then I accomplished my main goal at the time. And I don't have to explain my actions any furthur to anybody." I did add a nice F*CK YOU afterwards but in my head because I'm polite that way. Plus impressionable young children were near by. (((((((April)))))))) You are accountable to NO ONE but yourself for your actions in suc a situation. Everyone else can just shove their half-assed opinions where the sun don't shine. Take care of yourself, Cherry
  8. I read TKMB long before I was meant to in school. But I am really glad we got the chance to study the text again because just reading it through the first time I missed some things that made the story more rich and interesting. I was glad to have questions on the text and a study guide because even though some of the questions seemed simple and obvious, the answers the class offered were full of different interpretations. Plus I was forced to think about stuff I hadn't thought was relevent before. Yeah people should read for the joy of reading, but people should also study novels in school to get a better view of what they are reading. You miss out on so much when you don't look deeper into text. I'm going to be an English prof, can you tell?
  9. This thread is so great!! Is there any chance we can move it to the wonderful threads section? ::blinks big cute eyes at the mods:: Pleeeeeeeease?
  10. <i>How does Socialism encourage people to better themselves in anyway?</i> Just a shot in the dark here but...morally?
  11. Personally I'd like a fascist dictatorship with me as your resident ruler. Things get done much more efficiently that way, wouldn't you agree? My army lies in wait, but we will take over soon, so consider getting on my good side now! (Edited by Cherry Blossom at 4:25 pm on April 30, 2002)
  12. Maybe that's because "terrorism" is such a loose, debatable term. maybe they should have made it the war on the Taliban, or the War on Bin Laden, the war on the Al Queda, the war on Afghanistan even since that's what it looks like now. But not the war on terrorism. Anyone who uses violence to scare the general public is a terrorist. (Edited by Cherry Blossom at 1:27 pm on April 30, 2002)
  13. I always pronounced it "kiss-emmy". Is that wrong? And have you been to the World Exhibits in Epcot? I went to Canada and nearly killed myself laughing. They had us all decked out in plaid, playing bagpipes and eating spare ribs. Good beaver tales though. I tried to pay with a twoonie and they looked at me funny
  14. The same can be said for those killed in the Sept 11 crashes, Nat.
  15. <i>F*ck the terroists and i hope they burn in ####.</i> Not all Afghanistanis are terrorists. Just like not all Amreicans are rude, obnoxious, uppity, rich dudes, and all Canadians aren't plaid-wearing eskimos who eats donuts and say "eh" a lot. All Germans weren't Nazis and all Autralians don't wrestle crocodiles and wear leather. All Texans aren't cowboys and not all black people are murderers and thieves. All asian people aren't extremely smart and business orientated, and all women aren't weak and incompetent. Not all men are strong and capable providers. Such generalizations are dangerous. And prejudice runs strong in our countries. I should know, I have to listen to my bigoted uncle display his narrow-minded ignorance at every family function. We are bombing innocent civilians, whether that is intentional or not, it is still being done. Like it or not, we have become terrorists. Just because we wear the uniforms and have the G's doesn't mean we are any less monsters. Why do you think Yugoslavia has been devastated for so many years? Each side is payind retribution for crimes of their people. Each side will continue to fight back and forth in endless bloodshed for "pride" and "family" and "right" and "good" and there is no way you can argue with them. If I killed your father and then you, in retribution, killed me, then that would be "justified". But if my family were to take revenge for my killing and kill you, would they also not be justified. And if your family decided to get revenge for your death, it would be justified as well. And the cycle continues until one side is too weak to seek revenge. But the hatred always remains. And once they have power again, they will find a way to gain their "justice". Those who flew the planes that crashed on Sept 11 are dead. The Taliban has been dismembered. Osama Bin Laden has left the country. We should also leave. I cannot f*ck afghanistan. What if by some odd twist of fate it was me growing up in that country? And all of you would hate me, for the sins of my family, for the teachings of my schools, for the crimes of my government. And you would kill my father, my brothers, my uncles and cousins. and I would hate you and see that everything my ancestors and government taught me was right, the Western world is full of souless monsters who destroyed my homeland and killed my family. And would I not be right? (Edited by Cherry Blossom at 2:58 am on April 29, 2002)