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  1. Sorry for posting twice i needed to look up the site This site is international and has helplines for most places
  2. I feel this is an EXCELLENT idea! Well done (((((Rachel))))))) England:- Samaritains Emotional support... 0845 790 9090 0845 790 9192 (local rate) Violence and Crime 0845 30 30 900 (local rate) womens aid domestic violence helpline 08457 023468 (local rate) Health NHS direct (mental health/suicide) 0845 46 47 (local rate) CHILDLINE (young person or child helpline) Free call calls cant be traced 0800 1111 ---------------------------------------------------- others that may be of use Alcoholics anonymous 0845 769 7555 (local rate) Curse bereavement care 0870 167 1677 (local rate) Sexuality (020) 7837 7324
  3. (MEGA) ALTERNATIVES LIST Here are some ways in which you can try not to SI when you feel triggered: -Deep breathing -Relaxation techniques -Call a friend, your therapist or a crisis line -Try not be be alone (visit a friend, go shopping, etc.) -Take a hot bath -Listen to music (soothing perhaps- Papa Roach or the Manics might not be a good idea!) -Go for a walk (Seems to be especially good for some when it's raining?!?) -Write in a journal -Write poetry- it'll be dark, but it'll be raw-emotional, and that's good- it's a less harmful way of releasing things. -Wear an elastic around wrist and snap it when you have the urge to harm yourself -Some people find it helpful to draw red lines on themselves with washable markers instead of cutting themselves -Hold ice cubes in your hands - the cold causes pain in your hands, but it is not dangerous or harmful (some people find it relieves the urge to harm themselves for that moment) -Punching a bed or a pillow (when nothing but a physical outlet for your anger and frustration will work), or any kind of sport- even if it's just pressups and situps in your own room- burns away the energy to harm. -Meditation (AKA self hypnotism if you want to call it that) Type One- Just sit down comfortably, eyes closed and teake long, slow breaths- concentrating on the breath itself as it goes in and out and nothing else. After even eight or nine breaths, as long as you keep them slow, you can feel more relaxed. The more the better! Type Two- sit down comfortably, eyes closed and repeat to yourself a word which indicates something you want to have that you don't (emotions wise) or a state you want to be in- like 'happiness. happiness, happiness' or 'confidence, confidence, confidence'. The idea is that in time, you 'fool yourself' that you HAVE these things, and in doing so you DO have them because it's YOU that gives them to you in the first place!! -Scratch draw a picture on a thick piece of wood or use a screw driver and stab at the piece of wood. (can be another physical way to release your emotions without harming yourself.) -Avoid temptation (i.e. avoiding the area in CVS where the razor blades are kept, etc.) -Try to find your own creative ways as outlets for emotions- writing, drawing, painting, etc. -Learn to confront others/making your own feelings known instead of keeping them inside, but pick your trustees carefully! -Go outside and scream and yell -Take up a sport (a form of exercise can help you release tension, etc.- doesn't have to be at a club or gym if you don't wanna; sport's sport wheverer and whenever you do it) -Work with paint, clay, play-doo, etc. (the person who suggested this mentioned that they would make a big sculpture and do whatever they wanted to it. They said it was helpful to calm the urge to self-injure, plus it gave them some idea of what might be underlying the pain. -Draw a picture of what or who is making you angry -Write a letter to the person who's making you feel this way (if there is one)- you don't ever have to send it; it may be best to burn it afterwards, but just writing it down helps work stuff out. -Instead of harming yourself, try massaging the area you want to harm with massage oils or creams, reminding yourself that you are special and you deserve to treat yourself and your body with love and respect -Go to church or your place of worship- not necissarily an 'established' place of worship- the natural world, for example, is pretty spiritual- parks and stuff. -Wear a pipe cleaner or something that will fit on the places that you injure. One person did this as a way to remind herself that she could call someone instead of hurting herself and that she had other ways to cope. -Break the object that you use to self-injure as a way to show that you have control over it. -Do some household chores (i.e. cleaning) -Do some cooking -Try some sewing, crossstitch, etc. -Recite a poem, prayer or anything else familiar the comforts you multiple times -Write down all your positive points and why you do not deserve to be hurt -Write in your journal why you want to hurt yourself and if you have hurt yourself, write down what caused it to happen so in the future you can prevent it from happenings - or find out what your triggers were -Play some kind of musical instrument. Even if you don't really know how to play, picking out tunes is a way to concentrate and help get rid of the urge to harm yourself. -Yoga -Allow yourself to cry. Getting the tears out can make you feel better. It allows the inside to release, as opposed to self abuse. Picture your "ickies" pouring out as you cry. -Take a shower -Write down a word best associated with what you are feeling (i.e. horrible, sad, lonely, angry) and continue to write it down, over and over. Sometimes when you do that, the words looks silly etc., and it puts humor or a smile in your life. -Sing a song on what you are feeling. It's another way to get it outside. Shout if you feel, etc. Let the words just come to you. -Scribble on paper. Clutch the pen in your fist. It's a way to diffuse it on to paper. (Get a few sheets so they don't tear.) -Take item you are self injurying with and use it against something else. For example, if you are using a razor blade, rip it across a towel. Sometimes seeing what "can" be done to an object can make a person think twice about using it on themselves. Can also give the feeling of "doing it"...the tangible aspect. -Make a list of reasons why you are going to stop cutting. -Tell yourself that you can't cut for another 5 minutes. If you make it 5 minutes then I tell yourself to wait another 5 minutes. Sometimes you might no longer feel like cutting after only 5 minutes. -Every time you get the urge, read the list to remind yourself why you shouldn't. -Also remember to put on that list that you do not deserve to hurt yourself. You are important and special and you do not deserve to be hurt. -Hit a punchbag- punchbags are goooood- or stree sponges. -Keep dangerous things out of your house/apartment/ -Make a list of friends you can call. I do not do this because I do not have local friends that I can call. BUT, I know many people who find this list of friends to contact extremely helpful even if they don't actually call anyone. -Focus on what is real and around you right then. There is no such thing as the past or the future- only the now! -Give yourself rewards, even if they're stupid, mundane little things like watching a TV show you like or eating a food you like- and indulge yourself in these things when you feel bad- makes you remember there are good things in life, however small. -Be aware of the world- say to yourself what you see. ie. The couch is green. The light is on. I can feel my shoe pinching my foot. This can sometimes be enough to ground you. -Make a contract with someone you care about and who cares about you. Don't have to 'know' them in the real world- internet friends etc are fine. Make sure you try to get in touch with them when you feel in mind (but of course don't get extra depressed, with internet friends, if they arn't around cos they arn't online- that's why having phone numbers is better) -Create an internal safe place where you can go. In a time when you feel safe and secure, create a room or a garden or any safe area inside yourself where you can retreat to and get away from external stresses. Add as many details as you can to make it real for you. -Get a warm drink and curl up in a warm place with a stuffie. Buy yourself a special stuffie if you do not already have one. Make yourself some tea or hot chocolate (or even coffee if the caffeine doesn't bother you) and curl up under a nice warm comforter or blanket with lots of pillows. -Put on a (happy) movie -Post at a self injury bullitin board on the web. (Be careful to avoid triggery posts, but talk to people- it's totally anonamous, so just type how you feel- you might find some people who know what you're going through.) -Have a bath and finger paint with ketchup. -Try not to be to hard on yourself for feeling this way. Try not to beat yourself up inside by calling yourself names or expecting yourself to just "not feel this way" or to "snap out of it." This internal namecalling and self-verbal abuse will only make you feel worse. -Tell yourself how you feel now will not last forever. It is hard to remember that while you are in the midst of these feelings, but EVERYTHING changes. Just focus on you and what you need to do to get through these feelings as safely as you can. -Use a toothbrush instead of a razor. -Try something physical and violent, something not directed at a living thing, such as; -Slash an empty plastic soda bottle or a piece of heavy cardboard or an old shirt or sock. -Make a soft cloth doll to represent the things you are angry at. Cut and tear it instead of yourself. -Flatten aluminum cans for recycling, seeing how fast you can go. -Use a pillow to hit a wall, pillow-fight style. -Rip up an old newspaper or phone book. -On a sketch or photo of yourself, mark in red ink what you want to do. -Cut and tear the picture. -Throw ice into the bathtub or against a brick wall hard enough to shatter it. -Break sticks. -Crank up the music and dance. -Stomp around in heavy shoes. -Curl up under a comforter with hot cocoa and a good book, babying yourself somehow. Do whatever makes you feel taken care of and comforted. -Use light sweet-smelling incense and listen to soothing music. -Make a tray of special treats and tuck yourself into bed with it and watch TV or read. Visit a friend. -Slap a tabletop hard. -Clap hard. -Take a cold bath. -Play a difficult computer game. -Choose an object in the room. Examine it carefully and then write as detailed a description of it as you can. Include everything: size, weight, texture, shape, color, possible uses, feel, etc. -Choose a random object, like a paper clip, and try to list 30 different uses for it. -Pick a subject and research it on the web. -Take a small bottle of liquid red food coloring and warm it slightly by dropping it into a cup of hot water for a few minutes. Uncap the bottle and press its tip against the place you want to cut. Draw the bottle in a cutting motion while squeezing it slightly to let the food color trickle out. -Get a henna tattoo kit. You put the henna on as a paste and leave it overnight; the next day you can pick it off as you would a scab and it leaves an orange-red mark behind. -Read an insanely long list of alternatives to cutting- by the time you've finished, you probably won't have the energy to cut!!! Hope they work!!
  4. Hi well i have looked at this time and time again maybe its time to try it now... Lis it seems like a wonderful idea ty for posting It was my fault because.... 1. It was really my fault because I Went out of my way to go and meet him 2. It was really my fault because i am married so what the #### was i doing anyhow? 3. It was really my fault because i went back to the situation alone 4. It was really my fault because I got in a near strangers car! 5. It was really my fault because I gave him the wrong impression 6. It was really my fault because i did not stop it. I did not try hard enough people were around i could have stopped it SOMEHOW. 7. It was really my fault because i answered my phone and said nuthing everything was ok.....what the fuck???? 8. It was really my fault because i still got back into his car after 9. It was really my fault because i reported a sexual assult not a ra*e they knew it wasnt the truth and he got away with who will he hurt next? CAUSE OF ME! Being a failure and a wimp. It wasn't my fault because... 1. It wasn't my fault because I was set up..i thought i was meeting his gf with him 2. It wasn't my fault because i was meeting a "friend" and i never wanted this 3. It wasn't my fault because i thought i was safe? Why does that sound so #### stupid? I was 23 SHOULD HAVE KNOWN BETTER. Id met him b4 i took a friend that time i trusted them? 4. It wasn't my fault because I .... it was my fault. 5. It wasn't my fault because i dont see how i did? Inever intended to. No is no whatever 6. It wasn't my fault because i couldnt............... 7. It wasn't my fault because i didnt want hurt noone else 8. It wasn't my fault because i was scared and in a strange place...i wanted to die 9. It wasn't my fault because hte police were insensitive ******* and male..noone appearded to give a fu**. I gave them a ton of info they ignored it. I HURT. but if anyone else gets hurt..........