Collene

Member
  • Content count

    16
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About Collene

  • Rank
    Suvivor
  • Birthday 07/12/1996

Profile Information

  • Gender identity
    Female
  • Membership Type
    Survivor
  • Location
    Randleman NC
  1. My days..

    Every day is a routine. Getting up Shower, dressed Hair and coffee A cigarette. school. people I hate to see work that I don't feel like doing. coming home to sit in my room. all my friends work and I don't. I feel like a sob story to them, so I try to not talk to them. I feel like a fuck up everyday. I go to bed, I wake up and do the same thing. I feel like my fake smile is so convincing that a real one would knock me out. I feel as if no guy wants me. I feel as if no one wants me. I am judged by the clothes I wear. my piercings. my makeup. my smile. my weight. my face, my laugh my sprit. am I alone in this feeling of being an intruder to the world?
  2. Life without my mom or dad..

    When I was 3 years old in 2000 my dad died of a massive heart attack. as most was to think I was too young to know what death was, I did. at my dads funeral I screamed because I did not want to believe he was gone. my mom was hated by the whole family and it devastated me knowing that no one on his side was going to talk to me again. I wanted to die. well as I grew older I wanted to know more about my dad my mom of course talked a lot of crap about him and it made me mad, why did she do this? my mom and I have never had a good relationship and I HATE it. I have longed for a decent relationship with her and it kills me knowing that nothing is going to help me get over this. I feel as if she is blowing me off for her boyfriend and it hurts to much. she has missed my prom, my senior pictures, my 16th and 17th birthday, my senior year. me growing older and more responsible and knowing that girls need their mom makes it so much harder to bare. I hate that my dad isn't alive and my mom is ignoring me. it sucks when kids say that oh me and my mom or me and my dad did this.. like I hate that!! especially when they don't even relize how much I really want a relationship with mine.
  3. getting a voice

    As a senior one of the many things we are obligated to do is a senior project. For background about it you are required to type a paper that is 5-8 pages long and a product that i will spend 15 hours total on and a portfolio of all kinds of papers together. After much thought i decided to do it on sexual abuse and how it affects other adolescents. I am so glad that i am working through my fear of this touching subject to do research project on i am proud of myself for all the battles and obstacles i have been through. The fact that this website give men and women a chance to talk to, vent to, and just let out feelings
  4. From: My Voice

    After telling my mom and her not believing me I started to gain my voice. but as most of you all know it takes time. after trying to become the best that I could be. I final fell down the road to recovery. after a year of being teased about court cases, knowing nothing was going to happen to him sent me off the edge. the investigator over my case basicly didn't even talk to me. my mom called and said that it was a lie and said I was a prostitute, so needless to say he was a butthole when he seen me. he told me " you need to get over it" like it was some kind of feeling that I could control. I asked him why he was being so rude. he replies with well I talked to your mom and I knew it was all over then. I said don't tell me you believe anything she said? she said I walked the streets. he asked me if that was true, so with anger I reply well do you consider the streets three doors down then sure! I was livid buy the end of this meeting even though this man was the real reason that I was so frustrated to began with, I am so glad that I heard what he had to say. my mom on the other hand calls time to time and I would rather not talk to her. even though I would love to try and build up a relationship with her. its impossible. she is still with this man today and the incident happened, july 12th 2012. she lives a mile down the road with him and I see him every single day. medications, therapy, nothing helps me fully get over this. but with research I have found that you can never be complete again. this person has ruined your life forever. you can try to get over it or even say you are over it. but deep down you will never forget what happened to you the night you were sexually abused! this is a real problem in this world and really needs to serve more people justice than it does. Source: My Voice
  5. My story

    It all started when I was 15 years old. my mom met a guy. he seemed cool he helped out a lot since my dad passed away when I was 3. his name is Harvey.. he was short, but big he has muscles. he was friendly. he was very helpful. he moved in with my mom and me after may 21st, 2012. I didn't really entertain the idea, since I didn't know him, neither did my mom but what could I do? I was a child! well after him living there a week, I told my mom I didn't mind him staying because he seemed normal.. he cooked, cleaned, worked, and always made himself free. although I still was a little weary about this guy, I still went along with the jest of things. June 2012. I was still in school but almost out. after I was done with school I still continued to wake this grown man up at 7:00 am. I made sure the doors were locked like always and the dogs fed and took out. knowing that my birthday was getting closer I was excited to know what I was going to get since I was 16. well in the middle of June this man asked me if I wanted to smoke pot with him. I was the normal teenager, I had done it before and had done it way before I knew him, but I didn't see anything wrong. I did it. it was pretty much like a hangout sesh before bed. I was use to it, I liked it, until he started making it an every night deal, and trying to add more and more every time.. I started to suspect something but,, I was like nah he would be trying to drug me. man did I think wrong...
  6. that is truly an inspiring story that I just read I am so glad you shared it! I am also a high school student but my incident happened when I was 16. for almost a year and a half I have searched in spite of my disbelief that anything like this happened to me and could happen to anyone else. I have been through therapist, medicine, sleeping pills along with depression, anxiety attacks, panic attacks and my normal low days I have still not full taken in the fact that this really happened to me.. its sort of like a nightmare that I wish I could wake up from.