Curious Blue

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About Curious Blue

  • Rank
    Cast me gently into morning, for the night has been unkind.

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Profile Information

  • Gender identity
    Female
  • Membership Type
    Survivor
  • Interests
    languages, numbers, traveling, people, literature
  1. A week

    I've talked twice in the last week. They weren't minor, either... one was stepping through each experience, talking about the people involved, how I felt, what happened. The other was more an outline of these experiences throughout my life, then one experience in much more detail. Even weirder, neither of these were in therapy. Just with regular people, friends. And can I just say, the entire following day on each occasion I thought my anxiety was going to make me crazy. I also went out twice in the last week with groups of friends. I hate going out with groups because it just tends to be too triggering (crowds, alcohol, atmosphere), but I went out twice and survived... even had a little fun. In the last week I've reached out on more than one occasion when I've felt the need to SI. I've been honest about how safe I feel at any given moment. I didn't think I would get through my desperation without hurting myself, but I was surprised by myself. I've been able to forgive this week (for my benefit) and know that I have to still live with the consequences of other people's actions. I got upset and got in a fight (usually I hold on to every emotion so tightly and push down any anger/frustration). I realized I am more bitter than I thought I was. But now I know I can work it out and resolve my anger/frustration. It's been a big week in these ways. It's uncomfortable to recognize such visible examples of progress. But I'm proud of it. -CB