• Content count

  • Joined

  • Last visited

About Panda2

  • Birthday 06/22/1989

Profile Information

  • Gender identity
  • Membership Type
  • Interests
    Writing,reading and swimming. Anything to do with the outside helps as does learning russian. Oh and Doctor Who..that really helps
  1. Too much

    It's all getting too hard. Can't afford doctors to help with depression, can't find a job so thats making depression worse. I feel so useless and shit that I can't think straight. My mind is racing but everytime I open my mouth to ask someone to help no words come out. I am alone during the day and it's twelve hours of my mind screaming at me, telling how crap I am, how my partner will get sick of my moods and leave me for someone better. My mother just says stop being depressed and get over it. Yes mam because it is just that easy to get over this. I don't think I can face much more of this. I feel so lonely all the time I have nobody to help me through this and it is my fault. I let things build up and I can't make myself get past the abuse and move on with my life...I keep thinking that maye be its all my fault, abused as a child and as when I was in my twentues. Do I give off a vibe, am I that weak that people jsut target me? Is that why I got bullied all my lifre,because I am so am fucking weak that these people see it and focus on me.
  2. Bad dreams

    I am having flashbacks again. They are getting worse,sometimes they are just flashbacks and sometimes they are part of the dream. I am scared,I can't afford to go the a doctor to talk about it because everything in this country costs a fortune. Maybe posting this and knowing that there are people on this site who are dealing with this will help. My friends and partner are doing all they can but it's not the same as talking to other survivors.