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About jackie19

  • Birthday 08/06/1993

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  1. slowly getting better

    Things seem to be slowly getting better...its taken a while for it to get to this point,but I'm thankful for it.I am gonna start going to group therapy and starting my own personal therapy in about two months.Either way I'm on my way to moving on and not letting this control my life anymore.I'm so excited to start over and start healing and mending.Every thing is slowly starting to fall into place
  2. pain

    It feels like this has been the worst week.I have been struggling with my body and image.I feel so worthless and no good.I hate my body and how i look.Every time i look in the mirror all i see is this blob...i know deep down inside i should not feel this way...but i cant help how i feel about myself.I see beautiful women every were.Than their is me...i feel like im alone in all of this.I feel so weak and like i cant go on...the memories...the way he made me feel when it was happening...i feel like its controlling my life.I sometimes ask god why he put me through years of torment and pain...pain is all i ever feel.I feel like the life has been sucked right out of me...i know i seem so negative...im really not a negative person.I know i have to keep going and pushing through this...my mom always tells me that their is a light at the end of the tunnel...right now i dont feel like it...
  3. i really want to go see a T...the only thing is not having money or insurance..it really sucks because i really want to open up to someone and try to change...i really want to change and get through this huge mountain in my life...i know i will make it through this...i know it will take time of course..thank you for replying and thank you agian
  4. i am so sorry that that happened to your kids it breaks my heart to hear that...because you know how it feels...the worst feeling in the world is having you children feel the same pain and feelings that you did during the time it happened.The same thing happened...my mother was molested by her father..when she found out that i went through the same thing it broke her heart...anyway thank you for commenting...i hope the best for you and your babies
  5. i am trying to make it through it day by day..some days its easy and some day i dont want to even be alive...my mom always tells me their is a light at the end of the tunnel...i know one day i will be alright...thank you for taking time
  6. thank you for taking the time and replying to my blog..it means alot to me...if i ever need anyone to talk to i will pm you..thank you
  7. thank you guys:)i know i can get through this...i know my boyfriend loves be because he has stuck by my side through all my struggles with this.yesterday was one of those days...i am having another one today...i know i am strong and can get through it all...sometimes i need to hear from people that i can do it and that deserve nothing but good things...its like a little push...thank you for taking time to talk to me and reply to my blog:)
  8. hanging in their

    I'm so mentally unhealthy...i always think and wonder what i would of been like if i wasn't molested for so many years,i know its not my fault that it happened to me,i just want to have a healthy normal relationship with the man i love with all my heart.I cant but help feel like what happened to me is holding me back from true happiness.I feel so upset because i don't trust him...i feel like i don't even deserve to be loved by anyone. I'm so insecure to the point that if he barely looks in a girls direction i freak out!uuuhhgggg i hate how i am:(...they say it doesn't last for ever...it doesn't feel that way to me...
  9. a new beginning

    Hello my name is Jaclynn. My friends and family call me Jackie. I have never blogged before so bare with me. I am a survivor and i have not been to counselling, or to a therapist. I am pretty much doing this on my own..i want to heal and change so badly, it has been tough for me that past three years dealing with all of my emotions. I hope at the end of all of this a gain friends, my friends that do surround me dont understand or get me at all. anyway this is a new beginning to a fresh start..if that makes since