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About scarlettbegonia

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    If there was a better way to go then it would find me.

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    stopping the cycle of abuse so my kids don't go through what I have, and my mother before me, and her mother before her, and so on.......
  2. I don't have an answer, but I just wanted to tell you that you always make me laugh. Thanks, Leah
  3. You look so happy and beautiful. Take care and get lots of rest. Leah
  4. Sheblynn - I think that is Sarah MacLaughlin. It is a beautiful song. Take care, Leah
  5. Me

    I am here, I am in real life, and I care about you!!! Take care, Leah
  6. I am also paranoid that my husband visits here and reads all my posts. I have no real reason to believe he has, but I can't stop worrying that he will read my posts and pass judgement on me. I have even gone so far as to change my password, just in case. I know, intellectually, that it is completely irrational, but I can't help myself. Take care, Leah
  7. You make a very interesting point. I recently got in a debate with a jehovah's witness who came to my house trying to persuade me to try her religion. She brought the issue of homosexuality up in a negative sense. I told her my god didn't ask me to judge or hate people, just to accept them as they are, and offer understanding, compassion, and kindness. I am not sure what she thought, but she stopped talking and thanked me for my time. Well anyway, I think you should definately try to put something together with the images you find related to the seven deadly sins in the modern world. I think it would be eye opening and compelling. If you do come up with something, post it here because I would love to see. Take care, Leah
  8. I wonder that exact same thing sometime!!!! Take care, Leah
  9. Jen, I am sad to hear you are hurting so badly. In no way are you weak or a wimp or any of those. In fact, you have more strength than a lot of people I know. Being a CASA advocate for children who have no voice, children who have gone through situations that probably mirror yours, is proof of your strength. You are able to overcome your fears and triggers to help these kids. You are a supportive poster here at Pandy's even in spite of a bad day you might be having. You are stronger than you know. Not being able to talk about what happened to you is not a sign of weakness, it simply means that this is not the time for you. Take care, and don't be so hard on yourself. You are a great person, you deserve happiness!!!!!!! Leah
  10. My mom in a conversation regarding my abuse at the hands of her (then) husband: "I just can't believe he would do that after everything I have been through." Thanks for the concern for me, I wouldn't expect any less of you.
  11. My husband when I confided in him about my struggle with bulimia: "Why don't you just not eat? Making yourself throw up is just gross." Sorry ladies, he's taken. Leah
  12. old spice cologne being touched in my sleep the dark the quiet white conversion vans any mention of the fire department or navy the word kitty people in my space, too close public restrooms or changing rooms...I feel vulnerable and like I am being watched, which is something he would do
  13. This song came out around the time I was freeing myself from my abusive situation. The first time I heard, I felt so empowered, actually it still has that affect on me now. Free Girl Now - Tom Petty (on the Echo album) I remember when you were his dog I remember you under his thumb Yeah baby, when he would call Every time, you had to come Yeah baby, you'te a free girl now Hey baby, you're a free girl now I remember when he was your boss I remember him touching your butt I remember you counting your blessings Yeah honey, you had to keep your mouth shut Hey baby, you're a free girl now Yeah baby, you're a free girl now Yeah, well all right Honey, put your sugar down Dazzle, dazzle the moon above Lay your victim down No longer will you be a slave No longer will you have to crawl No longer will you suffer No longer will you stall One day you'll live for a reason One day you'll be gone, no more When you walk from the table No longer, will you bow down Hey baby, you're a free girl now Hey baby, you're a free girl now Leah