The smell of beer. The smell of cigarette smoke. Someone touching/holding my wrists or arms. Any sound in the night. Being alone at night. Being alone in the dark. Some of these are worse than others. I can "prepare" myself to deal with the smell of beer and smoke, but if I smell it unexpectedly I automatically see his face. I can tolerate being alone at night if I stay busy until pure exhaustion where I basically pass out, but have to sleep with a light or tv on. I can't be alone in the dark without thinking he or someone is going to get me. And no matter who touches or hold my wrists it causes the worst response. It's been 12 years since I have had an encounter, but I don't think I will ever be able to handle that one.