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About squirrely

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    and i thought i wouldn't have to be with you a magazine
  • Birthday 03/18/1975

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    scuba diving, snowmobiling, adventure travel, fine arts, Muppets, furry animals outside of species homosapiens, Manolo Blahniks, Ben & Jerry's, emotionally unavailable men, research, teaching and practice.
  1. I don't want to lose him, but I cannot lie or compromise my thoughts to keep him. I know that you must be quite upset that you might have hurt him; however it sounds as if he would be more upset if you compromised yourself in answering his hypothetical. I too often wonder if I would ever be capable of marriage again. I want to be, but I honestly dont know if its possible. There are few few individuals I have been able to trust since I was a kid even, so this isnt a stretch.... I am afraid if I get involved with anyone...I might not be able to honestly give them what they need and compromise myself yet again in trying to do so.... You cannot not be true to anyone else if you are not true to yourself. You answered wisely and if he is man you describe- he will grow with you. take care squirrely
  2. Happy Pandyversary!!!! squirrely
  3. It's nearly time for the divorce to be final. While the demise of my marriage is hardly cause for celebration in and of itself, the freedom and independence I have gained in coming out from under the weight of it is really beginning to show Amen to that sista. Good for you! squirrely
  4. You CAN do this. Together we wont let any of them win. take care squirrely
  5. Mine did the same thing. Not that I mind paying an extra dollar, I just want to be sure Pandys is receiving it- not paypal. squirrely
  6. guys with the same first or middle name as 2 perps who shared first names prolonged eye contact of any kind smell of beer or cigarette smoke on the breath having to trust anyone or being placed in circumstances in which I am forced to rely upon men I dont know very well eg scuba diving thoughts about initiating relationships.....weird. somehow I can fantastize about a relationship but only if it is in the beyond new stage; if I think about flirting with someone or a first date before it actually happens- I freak. even if the guy is cool getting my fingernails done. my ex- and perp would make degrading comments to me if they werent done. something i had originally done for myself, he turned against me. if I get them done I feel as objectifed as if I was still with him. can still get pedicures though WTF?? thats it for now. Im just starting to learn about my triggers as I have been so detached for so very long.....so this is all new and scary for me. even thinking about triggers in general gets me triggered. the price being able to feel anything again I guess. squirrely
  7. This is yet another fiona apple song. My ex-h was wicked as far as his verbal abuse and emotional manipulation. This song for me phrases my feelings of being controlled by the monster pretty well, especially since much of the controlling crap came after we were newlyweds.. The early cars Already are Drawing deep breaths past my door And last night's phrases Sick with lack of basis Are still writhing on my floor And it doesn't seem fair That your wicked words should work In holding me down No, it doesn't seem right To take information Given at close range For the gag And the bind And the ammunition round Conversation once colored by esteem Became dialogue as a diagram of a play for blood Took a vacation, my palate got clean Now I could taste your agenda While you're spitting your cud And it doesn't make sense I should fall for the kingcraft of a meritless crown No, it doesn't seem right To take information Given at close range For the gag And the bind And the ammunition round This is not about love 'Cause I am not in love In fact I can't stop falling out This is not about love 'Cause I am not in love In fact I can't stop falling out I miss that stupid ache What is this posture I have to stare at That's what he said when I'm sittin' up straight Change the name of the game 'cause he lost And he knew he was wrong but he knew it too late But I'm not being fair 'Cause I chose to listen to that filthy mouth But I'd like to choose right Take all the things that I've said that he stole Put 'em in a sack Swing 'em over my shoulder Turn on my heels Step out of this sight Try to live in a lovelier life This is not about love 'Cause I am not in love In fact I cant stop falling out This is not about love 'Cause I am not in love In fact i cant stop falling out I miss that stupid ache squirrely
  8. ((((((((()))))))) Yeah!!! squirrely
  9. I did not intend for any of my responses to be an adversarial display of who is the most knowledgeable about research. That isnt something that is or should be determined from posts. I also wanted to sincerely apologize if I inadvertently diverted the post away from its original intent or annoyed anyone. take care squirrely
  10. An extremely useful site for all of your scientific inquiries (tailored more for us) http://www.nsf.gov/bfa/dias/policy/hsfaqs.jsp#c squirrely
  11. Also- Doesnt necessarily matter if the federal gov directly supports it or not. None of my research is supported directly by the feds and I work for a private college/university. However my patients/subjects, and students (for surveys) are linked in various ways with several institutions which do have the responsiblity to uphold "good clinical practice" guidelines as well as the Nurenburg code for research. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Good_clinical_practice Yes even surveys are considered to be research, but that of course is up to your facility and maybe IRB to determine. The GCP guidelines & Nuremburg code are worldwide. If any type of data is collected, to test a hypothesis, it is science or "scientific". Most US organizations/, have some link to the US federal government. Otherwise they cant stay accredited, or nonprofit etc..... and receive reimbursement or even indirect support from state and federal government agencies. If there is a link to state and/or federal government via accrediating bodies, quality oversight organizations such as those that evaluate homeless shelters, walk in clinics, pharmacies (not just hospitals) etc..... The project must be reviewed by an affiliated IRB, even if it ends being exempt. Federal support is indirectly involved in just about everything in the US anyhow. Hope this helped. squirrely
  12. Institutions of any type (whether your an employee or just a volunteer), need to affiliate themselves with an institution that does have an IRB, or pay an IRB (such as Western Institutional Review Board) to review potential activities that could/could not be considered as research under the common rule or "good clinical practice" guidelines as mentioned. If the research isn't federally funded, and/or the person isn't affiliated with an institution that falls under this regulation or with its own set of rules it's probably fine. Just because an institution doesnt have an IRB/ethics board doesnt mean research could be conducted as long as it isnt published or discussed ? That could unintentionally violate the fundamental rights of those potentially involved. Anything determined to be "research" according to a given institution would need to be reviewed by an IRB in order to be exempt from giving all subjects the right to informed consent. Anything collected before the IRB determines the nature of the project, cannot be used for anything outside of necessary use (medical labs etc)- period. A survey would not usually be deemed as necessary as a standard. Even if it is never published or discussed. Therefore any data collected before IRB approval usually has to be destroyed per request of the IRB if they catch wind. If the institution(s) of the researcher (paid or unpaid) & subjects doesnt have an irb, the institution(s) need to settle a federally approved affliation agreement with an institution that does have an IRB which can be used before any project that is research can legally commence. IF you havent already, Take note of the recent survey posted on the pandys research board. Its on survey monkey. They have you complete an IRB approved informed consent electronic document before even looking at the survey. This would be an nice example of how likely your survey bubby would need to go through IRB/ethics board approval. take care & do have fun investigating however it happens ~ squirrely
  13. Im going to step out on a limb here as I dont want to see anyone get into trouble with IRB or ethics boards for all of their hardwork. I complete research as part of my job. I know if it were my hospital and/or university: Since sending the survey out is the method in which you are collecting your research data, and the interpretation of the results would be part of the research..... Yes. You must have approval. You cannot start a project, until you have approval from all pertinent IRBs and ethics boards. Usually any data you gather before approval (not realizing you needed approval) also cannot be used if it is a prospective (survey) study. The participants would not have anyway of legally "consenting" to the purpose of the survey before they took it, if the study were not IRB/ethics board approved first. Otherwise if it is a survey not for scholarly purposes, and never to be for ANY scholarly purposes you may or may not need approval. Better to be safe then sorry. Legally- check it out at your end. Im sure Pandys mods have wise thoughts as well. I have actually seen people have their research privileges away permanently for not having appropriate approval before the surveys were completed. Even though they were well intented, they lost all privileges to conduct research involving "humans" and active consent. Surveys are an active procedure which may have a harmful psychological effect on those who take them. IRBs/Ethics boards philosophically look at surveys they same way they look at new drug treatments: your doing something to people and your not 100% of the outcome. Hope all works out for you- sounds like you doing something really interesting squirrely
  14. Im sure everything will work out I am also more then happy to share the champagne. squirrely
  15. A fiona apple song that actually cheers me up. I certainly haven't been shopping for any new shoes -And- I certainly haven't been spreading myself around I still only travel by foot and by foot, it's a slow climb, But I'm good at being uncomfortable, so I can't stop changing all the time I notice that my opponent is always on the go -And- Won't go slow, so's not to focus, and I notice He'll hitch a ride with any guide, as long as They go fast from whence he came - But he's no good at being uncomfortable, so He can't stop staying exactly the same If there was a better way to go then it would find me I can't help it, the road just rolls out behind me Be kind to me, or treat me mean I'll make the most of it, I'm an extraordinary machine I seem to you to seek a new disaster every day You deem me due to clean my view and be at piece and lay I mean to prove I mean to move in my own way, and say, I've been getting along for long before you came into the play I am the baby of the family, it happens, so - Everybody cares and wears the sheeps' clothes While they chaperone Curious, you looking down your nose at me, while you appease - Courteous, to try and help - but let me set your Mind at ease If there was a better way to go then it would find me I can't help it, the road just rolls out behind me Be kind to me, or treat me mean I'll make the most of it, I'm an extraordinary machine -Do I so worry you, you need to hurry to my side? -It's very kind But it's to no avail; I don't want the bail I promise you, everything will be just fine If there was a better way to go then it would find me I can't help it, the road just rolls out behind me Be kind to me, or treat me mean I'll make the most of it, I'm an extraordinary machine squirrely