Kyrie

Member
  • Content count

    420
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About Kyrie

  • Birthday 06/02/1992

Contact Methods

  • Website URL
    http://kyriesotp.blogspot.ca/

Profile Information

  • Gender identity
    Female
  • Membership Type
    Survivor
  • Location
    Canada
  • Interests
    Writing, photography, horse-back riding, journalism, astronomy, humanities, psychology, sci-fi, fantasy, horror, psychological thrillers, wolves, dragonflies
  1. Hidden Truths

    I found this just recently in the newsletter from March 2009 on Pandys. The core message holds a truth that all survivors need to hear. "Take a carrot for an example. When you grate it, it's still a carrot. You can cook it, grate it, chop it, boil it, mash it. You can do what you want to it, but it never STOPS being a carrot and nothing in the world can stop it from being one. Yes, it's been changed,..." Click here to read the rest.
  2. These videos are a part of something called 'Project Unspoken' which is concerned with breaking the silence around sexual assault and rape, and spreading awareness. The statistics shown are pretty scary. This first one brings tears to my eyes, and I love that it's people who know survivors that are...
  3. April is Sexual Assault Awareness Month. This is the first in a special little series of entries that I have planned for this month. And I thought it would be appropiate to start where I consider my healing journey to of truly begun. My healing journey started with one word. One word that touched me as no other single word ever has. It reached inside me and grabbed a hold of my heart, and I broke down and cried. Finish reading here
  4. Glad you have such a wonderful friend! They can make all the difference. I totally agree with your yum. Sending positive vibes to you and your mum. Kyrie
  5. That's amazing. Unexpected kindness is such a beautiful thing. I think we all need to remind ourselves of this sometimes. Thank you, this made me smile.
  6. Changes

    So much is changing in my life right now. Even though the changes are positive, it's still really scary. I'm doing school work again and seriously considering applying to go to university. I just got my learner's licence, even though all the crazy drivers out there still freak me out. I may or may not be getting a job (just waiting to hear back to set up an interview). Most days, I even manage to get out and go for a walk. I've made progress in my healing journey, and am starting to break free of old patterns of negative thoughts. I've been diligent in my self-care, and slowly trying to build back up my self-esteem. I even started a blog on blogger to share my healing journey and inspiration, hoping that it will help others as it's helped me writing it. It's funny; I almost feel like some other version of me has taken over. A version that has more confidence and who's starting to actaully participate in life instead of sitting on the outside, looking in, and watching. It's so strange to me that I almost feel like falling back into my old habits (staying in my comfort zone). I'm so used to existing that it's comfortable, like an old friend. Life, living, is more unknown to me. And you know what they say: we fear what we don't know. At the same time, living is a lot more interesting than existing. I want to keep moving forward.
  7. I identify a lot with these. Especially "I don't like relationships that touch me in a way I cannot control emotionally, yet deep down it is all I have ever wanted.", "I want more, yet I am afraid of it.", and "I can do more, yet I continue to hinder myself." Thank you for sharing these.
  8. One of my favourite quotes says that "we are not human beings having a spiritual experience; we are spiritual beings having a human experience." And I feel that this is true. I believe in a 'higher power' of some sort and that this physical life isn't necessarily the end all be all of existance. I also feel drawn to certain cultures, people and beliefs (particularly Aboriginal/Native American culture/beliefs). I've always felt a close connection with nature, especailly trees and mountains. Closing my eyes and listening the the leaves rustling in the breeze fills me with peace. Wonderful post!
  9. I know how hard it can be to break the cycle of negative thoughts. I try to counter every negative thought with a positive one. I'm still working on becoming a person that sees the glass half full instead of half empty. It's a long and hard process, and some days are more of a challenge than others. I think it's great you're trying to focus on the positive instead of the negative. Even if it doesn't completely work out right away, there's always room to keep trying. You can do it if you keep working at it. Hope it goes well for you today.
  10. Sorry things are so overwhelming for you right now. You definitely have a lot on your plate. Hope things get better for you soon. (((erogers))) if okay.
  11. I'm sorry this was all brought up because of it, but I'm glad you were able to get it out. I think it's courageous that you even wrote this. Sometimes the hardest part is just to let out the words that you keep inside, that haunt you. Sometimes the hardest part is sharing them once they're written. You did both. You already have a lot of courage, more than you think. (((BSE)))
  12. Good for you! I know what you mean about it feeling cathartic. Telling someone like that (someone safe, but also someone who's outside of your family) is/can be a release and a relief.
  13. Monsters vs Beautiful People

    Monsters don’t feel remorse; do not have empathy or compassion. Monsters know the difference between right and wrong, they just don’t care. Monsters will do despicable things to other people and enjoy it. Monsters are cold and cruel and only care about themselves. Monsters sometimes wear a mask of warmth and kindness and can be gentle while they tear someone apart. Monsters tell lies and try to keep the truth hidden. Monsters although appearing strong, are actually very weak. Monsters are empty, twisted husks of human beings. Monsters never think of themselves as monsters. Monsters are not invincible. Beautiful people feel guilty about things that aren’t their fault; they take on guilt that is not their burden to bear. Beautiful people are still kind to others, even after they’ve gone through something horrible. Beautiful people are stronger then they realize (even and especially when they feel the most vulnerable). Beautiful people listen and don’t judge. Beautiful people don’t always see themselves clearly. Beautiful people feel pain. Beautiful people can have scars inside and out. Beautiful people cry because they have been strong for too long (not because they are weak). Beautiful people are never completely lost in darkness; the light from within them can never be extinguished. Beautiful people keep holding on despite everything. Beautiful people always have hope, even if they can’t see it. Beautiful people weather storms that batter, bruise, and bend, and come out the other end worse for wear but unbroken. Beautiful people sometimes see themselves as burdens. Beautiful people have so much to give to the world and add to it just by being here. Beautiful people are survivors. Beautiful people inspire me every day here at Pandys. "Only the weak are cruel. Gentleness can only be expected from the strong." -Leo Buscaglia
  14. Sometimes I wish I could just disappear (just fade away from existance); because living is too hard, because the emotions are too intense to deal with, because this pain never leaves and it's too much. But then I remember, remind myself of, all the good things that also come with being alive: love, hope, friendship, hugs, sun sets and rises, the sound of the ocean, the whispering of the wind through the leaves in the trees, the fresh smell just after it rains, making snow angels, the warmth and wonder of riding a horse bareback, all those moments that make you smile when you look back on them. And I think of all the things I want to do and haven't yet had the chance to: go sky-diving (despite my fear of heights), see the Grand Canyon, go white water rafting, take a road trip across the U.S., go to Disneyland, publish a book, go scuba-diving/see the coral reef, swim with dolphins, spend the night on a beach, dance with someone in the rain, help people. And I know that deep down, I want to stay, and learn to truly live again.
  15. Fearless - The Power of Words

    My healing journey started with one word. One word that touched me as no other single word ever has. It reached inside me and grabbed a hold of my heart, and I broke down and cried. I was sinking into a bit of a depression again, was spending all my time ignoring reality and trying to lose myself in the in the fantastical world of fiction. School work sat abandoned half-finished on the computer but I resolutely did not think about it. Just another regular day for me. My mom was on a website that caught my attention. She was on the Joyful Heart Foundations website because of the necklace she had noticed that Mariska Hargitay from Law and Order: SVU (Special Victims Unit) always wore. Mariska was the founder of Joyful Heart, and my mom was looking at a picture of the necklace in question. Then I read the word carved into the metal plaque: FEARLESSNESS. Immediately I felt a response from deep inside me. As it sunk in deeper, as I read the word again, the swell of emotion that rose like a tidal wave in me could not be stopped. I broke down into tears. I finally had to acknowledge that yes, there was something wrong with me. I was not fine. I had been hiding. Hiding for a long time from emotions I had been burying for far too long. One of the predominant of those was fear. A huge, overwhelming fear that I didn’t fully understand. It was scary to even think about it let alone let myself feel it. Seeing that word, FEARLESSNESS, changed my life. Before than I knew that words had power, I just didn’t know how powerful one word could be all on its own. After that it was a matter of working up the courage to call a crisis line that could set me up for counselling. It took me a couple of weeks to get to the point where I picked up the phone (and shaking like a leaf) dial the number. It was, I believe, my first big step forwards. Since then I have taken a few more steps forward on my healing journey. I’ve started doing school work again, and I see a counsellor every couple weeks (for the most part). In between sessions I make a little progress on my own through thinking about my issues, writing in my journal, and allowing myself to feel all the things I was avoiding before. Joining Pandys has been the next step in my journey. I want to support others who have had similar experiences and have the extra support as well. Joining was scary, but I knew I needed to do it. And I'm glad I did.