backflipdramachic

Member
  • Content count

    16
  • Joined

  • Last visited

About backflipdramachic

  • Birthday 02/21/1993

Profile Information

  • Gender identity
    Female
  • Membership Type
    Survivor
  • Location
    Saskatoon, SK, Canada
  • Interests
    Listening to Music, Guitar, Singing, Acting, Piano, Songwriting and spending time with my family
  1. First Blog Entry: Why I Am Here...

    Well today is my first day trying out the whole blogging thing on here.. My second day on the site. I'm starting to get the hang of things. I'm hoping that this website will help me, I don't know where else to go, I need some help with this. I feel so violated, and guilty. My cousin raped me when I was really young, more than once starting at age 8 and ending at age 12. I feel like it is my fault that I was raped, even though people always tell me it's not, and deep down I know it's not my fault.. But I feel like I could have done something to stop it, or prevent it from happening. I could have said something, or screamed or walked or ran away... but yet who am I trying to kid... I was a kid, I was scared.. and he was 5 years older than me. I'm just so angry, he was 13 when he started doing this to me, He knew what he was doing was wrong, but he didn't care.. and he was my own family.. and that is why I have had so much trouble trusting anyone... I just want to be able to trust again... I am starting to trust again, with one person.. my first girlfriend who is absolutely amazing and I know I will be with her forever <3. But, I just want to be able to trust people in general again.. not everyone is a bad person, but for some reason I cannot trust very many people i guess it's cause I have been hurt so much... I guess I just need a place where I feel like I can express myself... about all of this. I dont wanna hold on to the past anymore... the last few months for me there has been alot of changes... and they are changes for the better... and I want this to change too... I want to be truly happy... and feel like I have some control over how I feel and not feel like a victim anymore... I am so done with being the victim.. I want to live happily ever after.. as cheesy as it sounds...