eal

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About eal

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  • Gender identity
    Female
  • Membership Type
    Survivor
  1. i also should say that J forced/coerced me into giving him a hand job and forcibly touched me when i said stop
  2. Hey im not sure i really deserve to be here, i have never been raped but have had 3 seperate things happen. When i was in 6th grade (i was 11), i met a boy (ill call him E). E didnt have friends and could be rude and mean but i tried to be nice to him and be friendly. a few months into me trying to be his friend he started saying sexual things to me and these two other girls. he slapped one on the ass, followed one home, and said things to all of us. he would push his leg between mine in class or kiss the back of my head when i wasnt looking and he would tell me how when we were 16 we were going to have sex and how i was gonna have his kids. i tried to push him off and after that year it ended. Durring the next two years, the other two girls forgave him because he became more popular (though no one liked him) but i did not. he used this to make fun of me, such as when playing b ball he would say "i cant guard her she will accuse me of sexual assault again". people stood up for me but it was still hurtful. i blocked him online from facebook twice but when we told the school they never did anything besides tell him to stop. when i graduated middle school i figured that was all over. I was fine for all of freshman year, but at the begining of my sophmore year i met a boy (we will call him C) through my then bf. i was 14. we had a party one day and we were all smoking weed and drinking. at one point he ordered me to give him oral sex. i said no and my bf pulled him away. later he tried climbing on top of me and taking my pants off. the first few times i could push him off but he overpowered me. then my friends would pull him off. he put his hand down my pants but was always taken off before he touched me. i forgave him because he was only 13 and was high. it was hard to deal with because everyone acted like it was no big deal and it reminded me of what had happened with C. Sophmore year of high school i went to a party at a boys house (we will call him J). he had a gf. later he told me he thought i was very attractive and would i have a date with him. he said he and his gf were not exclusive. he first implied i would have to do things for him because he was brining weed. i said no and canceled out plans. when we did end up hanging out i said not to exspect anything. we did end up kissing and stuff but then he was like you cant do this you need to do something to me. he held my hand on his erection through his pants. he begged me to have sex with him. i said i want you but... he said then take me i said you arent him to take he flipped me over so he was on top of me and with a dead look in his eyes said "well i cuold just take you anyways", implying without my permission. He held me there a few minutes. i was scared but he realized what he was saying and eventually backed off and left. he felt awful about it so i said dont worry. i only told my 2 closest friends about it because i was never sure if he and his gf were REALLY in an open relationship. seeing him scares the hell out of me and for a while his profile pic on fb was just his eye. it reminded me of when he glared down at me and it terrified me. i told my current bf about all of these (i am now 16 and going to be a junior in highschool). He is very supportive but worried often that i will get raped or taken advantage of if he isnt there to protect me. because i was never RAPED i have trouble knowing if im just making a big deal out of nothing or if i belong here. i dont really have anyone to talk to and often have to stop doing things with my bf because things will remind me of E, C, or J.