keyboredkeyls

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About keyboredkeyls

  • Birthday 05/07/1990

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  • Gender identity
    Female
  • Membership Type
    Survivor
  1. Thank you. That was exactly what I needed to hear without even knowing it. I'm working on focusing on me and not what she has to say. Trying to be a stronger person, and stand up for myself. And I'm slowly getting better at it. (: I wish you the best, as well. I hope everything works out for you.
  2. My mother and I got into a fight about me wanting to go to counseling. She doesn't think I need to. (Because she only knows about one molestation.) She thinks I'm overreacting and just looking for attention. And in the heat of the argument because of her not listening to me, I ended up confessing about one more time. When my ex boyfriend sexually abused me. And she said it was my fault and that I was a stupid, crazy bitch who deserved it. I don't know what to do.
  3. You are definitely not alone. I have a big big fear of the dentist. I'm terrified. I cry and have a panic attack just about every time I go. They've even prescribed me Valium to calm me down on the visits where I'm getting teeth pulled. Just everything about the experience I fear. I hate the smell of the office. I hate the smell of his breath, his hands. How uncomfortably cold it always is in there. The sound of the drills are the worst. And I know what you mean about opening your mouth and them being able to see every bad thing that you've ever done, I'm feel the exact same way. And it doesn't help that I have lousy teeth. Ive been to the dentist just about every month for the last eight years. Which have spaced out a little in the past two years. They finally found what was wrong, and so now I only go about three to four times a year. This is so ironic that I read this today because I actually am going to the dentist today. I'm nervous. But I'm here for you, maybe we can work through our fear together.
  4. I don't know where to start.

    "Just say what you feel." I don't feel anything at the moment. I don't even know why I signed up on here. I'm afraid it's not going to help. I've been molested by a cousin when I was six. I've been molested by a family friend for as long as I can remember up until I was 15 yrs old. And then I had a boyfriend when I was 17 who sexually, verbally, and physically abused me until I finally grew the courage to leave him when I was 19. My family only knows about one of them. They said that I was making it out to be way worse than it actually was and all I was doing was trying to get attention. Needless to say, I didn't tell them about the rest. I don't really have much of a support system except for a few friends. That's why I'm hoping that this website will help me through everything I'm going through. Because of all the sexual abuse I've encountered, I have horribly bad social skills. I can't answer phones unless I know who's calling, I can't pay for my own things, I hide when I hear the doorbell ring. And when it comes to meeting people, I pretty much avoid it at all cost. Every time I see my ex or my cousin (the family friend died a year ago) I have panic attacks. I have panic attacks if people get mad at me. I can't handle confrontation or disappointing people. And when I finally do get close to someone, and form a relationship with them, sex is the first thing to happen. I think since I learned about sex at such an early age, that I think I identify relationships with sex. Like the only way I will keep the relationship is if I give them sex. I can't say no. I guess because saying no never worked before. I'm scared that if they say no, they'll get mad at me. And like I said before, I cant handle when people are angry. More to come later I suppose.