i am very excited and relieved to have found Pandys. i've already read several posts, just to get a feel for the site, and everyone has such warm and supportive things to say - i'm grateful to be among the company of such wonderful people. i want to thank everyone for sharing their stories.. i'm sorry for all that you have been through and thank you for giving me the courage to begin my journey of healing.
at the age of 21, i realized for the first time that i am a survivor of child sexual abuse and sexual coercion/rape. i have also survived verbal, emotional and physical abuse. i wasn't able to call myself a survivor because i blocked out most of it, didn't think it was "that bad", and convinced myself that it could have also been my fault.
i became unemployed about 8 months ago and have found it increasingly difficult to cope with my emotions and feelings about my past abuse, especially with so much free time. my family is unaware of what happened and i cannot bring myself to tell them - at least not yet, if ever. since i am currently unable to pay for therapy, i've been seeking other methods of healing and support - now i have Pandys! =)
i feel like i've found a new home. a place where i can share my real self without judgment and fear of rejection.. thank you, thank you, thank you. i'm sure i will sleep much better tonight.