crimsondarkmist

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    49
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About crimsondarkmist

  • Birthday February 8

Profile Information

  • Gender identity
    Female
  • Membership Type
    Survivor
  • Interests
    Video Games, Reading, Animals, Working Out, Music, Facebook, Listening & connecting with people.
  1. why

  2. Thanks 1975!
  3. I'm listening, pm me when you want.
  4. You did not deserve it and it doesn't matter if you remember it differently, trama causes memory loss. You are not to blame.
  5. Do not listen to her, she is wrong and in denial of the reality that is too much for her to handle.
  6. why

    CSA started by my father when I was also about 3 years old. I watched my fathers confession recently, and my answer to your question would be beacause they are sick period, there is definetly nothing sexually attractive about a 3 year old as you stated.
  7. I thought I was going to watch a short interview with detectives and my abuser/father, followed by the words I want my attorney. I had NO IDEA what I was in for, 2 HOURS! One hour of video from one year ago, and one hour of audio from after the hearing recently. I am drained after watching, and listening to him on Thursday. I haven't been sleeping well since. My mind keeps playing over some of his words and statements. It was hard to watch all the lies, and B.S., mixed in with a little truth. He did admit to CSA, but minimized the incidents and the amount of times. He even argued with himself, when a piece of recorded audio was played for him to hear of him confessing to different things to me personally. HE DID CONFESS to detectives and that's all that matters to me right now... The end of the audio interview was great for me and I really wish it was on video, so I could have seen the look on his face. He thought what he did to me was punishable with ten years or something less in prison. And he said he wanted to service his time, move to KY, and then move on with his life. The detectives read Florida Law to him saying "it's a capital offense, DEATH"... He was shocked, even on audio I could tell. Then he was told it's not practiced, but LIFE is. I heard FEAR in his force! His response was something like: Great, so I'm going to die in my prison cell by inmates?!! They asked him what he meant, and he said he had already heard stories of what they will do to him, in the short time he has been in jail. All I have to say is... LOL!! He then continued, and lost all his B.S. front at that point about being sorry for what he has done. Then he showed how much he doesn't give a damn about anyone, but himself. The tape ending was great!
  8. You do not deserve this. You are a good girl. You are working very hard already. Stop being mad at yourself. chat anytime.
  9. I'm happy for you. Take care.
  10. My gf has the same problem. She had CSA at age 14yrs and is 26yrs now. I believe it was a numbing response to protect herself. I'm sure it is normal for some people in her situation. I don't think trying to stimulate your body is the answer, I'm no therapist, but I would think over stimulation would make the problem worse, for a longer time period. I think it's a safety issue, mental not physical. You could try focusing on positive, caring, romantic, affectioniate behavior for long periods, without sex and see if that helps. Try giving also without receiving at all. I'm going to try to get my gf to talk to my T about it and I'll see what my T has to say regarding the subject. Remind me later if your interested in the outcome of that, then I will let you know.
  11. That's great. Glad to hear the weight is lifted. Take care.
  12. I graded it, you got an A!
  13. What's going on? Hope you are okay.
  14. I love that! Mind if I steal it? I want a voice tattoo now. I have one it's a PRIDE BANNER, HEART & DAGGER tattoo on my left upper arm.