janemaddy1

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About janemaddy1

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  • Gender identity
    Female
  • Membership Type
    Survivor
  1. It took me two years to admit that maybe the incident was rape. I'm in counseling now and am continuously told that it was rape but I still have a hard time accepting that it wasn't my fault and hopefully in time I'll be able to. If I had labeled it as rape from the beginning I think I would have spent a lot less time hating myself, denying it, and confused by my angry emotions. Because I thought it wasn't rape and I was told it wasn't, I didn't believe I deserved to heal from it because after all "I brought it on myself." Sometimes it's really hazy whether or not the incident can be labeled "rape." But what I'm realizing is that, regardless of the definition, if we feel traumatized by it and are experiencing serious emotional distress because of it then it was rape. Because if we had consented and wanted it then it wouldn't be bothering us and we wouldn't feel this pain. That's just my thought, but either way, we deserve to heal and we deserve to know and for those around us to know that it takes time. Stay strong! Jane