KellyMia

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About KellyMia

  • Rank
    KellyMia
  • Birthday 04/08/1977

Profile Information

  • Gender identity
    Female
  • Membership Type
    Survivor
  1. 1. It was my fault because I gave in over and over, whatever he wanted,if he bothered me enough he got because I wasn't strong enough to keep my answer "No". 2. It was my fault because I wanted to believe him every time he said he loved me, even though I knew it was only his way of getting what he wanted. I let him use "I love you" as a bully tactic. 3. It was my fault because all the times I told him to leave, I always allowed him to stay. And I would apologize for the hurt I caused him. 4. It was my fault because I didn't scream. 5. It was my fault because I gave him so much power, and believed that I needed him, and couldn't be without him. I wasn't worth having better. I wasn't strong enough to be alone.I stayed in the relationship, so I must have wanted him to treat me that way. 6. It was my fault because I would always apologize to him for hurting him when I said "no" or wanted him to leave. 1. It wasn't my fault because I wanted to believe that him wanting sex so badly was an indication of his affection and desire for me, and I wanted to believe that he truly wanted me, not just power and sex. 2. It wasn't my fault because all I ever wanted was to be loved, and he knew I was starved for someone's love, so he used it. That's how bullies work, they find someone's week spot and use it for their advantage. 3. It wasn't my fault because at that time I wanted to believed things would be better each time he came back. And because of my own lack of self-worth, I didn't know that my life would be better without him. 4. It wasn't my fault because the one time I did scream, and I knew people could hear me, they never helped me. They ignored it, because they believed if I was in his dorm room with him that meant I wanted to be with him. So why would I scream, knowing that all it would do was cause more embarrassment for myself? 5. It wasn't my fault because I had been raised to have no self-worth, and I didn't know that I could have strength and courage, or that I was allowed to be a worthy person and didn't deserve what he did to me. 6. It wasn't my fault because he was a bully. And my belief that changing myself or apologizing to try and make things better, were never going to change his being a bully.