amber85

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    36
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About amber85

  • Birthday 01/05/1985

Profile Information

  • Gender identity
    Female
  • Membership Type
    Survivor
  • Interests
    Music, writing, photography
  1. Mine is healing begins by tenth avenue north, Trigger warning if you go to the link I prive due to the pictures- the video was made specifically for sexual abuse. Healing begins- pictures may trigger The lyrics are So you thought you had to keep this up All the work that you do So we think that you're good And you can't believe it's not enough All the walls you built up Are just glass on the outside So let 'em fall down There's freedom waiting in the sound When you let your walls fall to the ground We're here now This is where the healing begins, oh This is where the healing starts When you come to where you're broken within The light meets the dark The light meets the dark Afraid to let your secrets out Everything that you hide Can come crashing through the door now But too scared to face all your fear So you hide but you find That the shame won't disappear [From: http://www.elyrics.net/read/t/tenth-avenue-north-lyrics/healing-begins-lyrics.html] So let it fall down There's freedom waiting in the sound When you let your walls fall to the ground We're here now We're here now, oh This is where the healing begins, oh This is where the healing starts When you come to where you're broken within The light meets the dark The light meets the dark Sparks will fly as grace collides With the dark inside of us So please don't fight This coming light Let this blood come cover us His blood can cover us This is where the healing begins, oh This is where the healing starts When you come to where you're broken within The light meets the dark The light meets the dark Love the Fin Perfect song by Pink- good choice
  2. 1. it was really my fault because my body reacted to it. 2. it was really my fault because my mom took me to a place where they asked me if someone was touching me and I said no numerous times. 3. it was really my fault because he said it was. 4. it was really my fault because it went on for years. 5. it was really my fault because i was too pretty. 6. it was really my fault because i didn't have a dad, and wanted a mans attention any way it came. 1. it wasn't my fault because it was my bodies normal reaction, I didn't enjoy it. 2. it wasn't my fault because i was scared to tell and didn't understand if I'd get in trouble or not. 3. it wasn't my fault because i was a child 4. it wasn't my fault because i did not ask for it, i didn't even know what he was doing/ making me do 5. it wasn't my fault because my mom was the one that left me every weekend and didn't pay attention to the screaming and crying when she left me 6. it wasn't my fault because my young mind didn't know how to handle the situation.
  3. Young kids with an older man- especially little girls. I always wonder if they are safe, if they are being hurt by him, if he thinks about it. I want to run over and snatch her up and ask her if she is okay. I've gotten to where I just have to force myself to not look. It makes me want to cry, and it's hard to not stare. And when anyone in my life leaves for extending periods of time. And in my romantic relationship now any time he isn't around. Maybe cause I remember begging my mom not to go out all weekend, just one night instead of two. I'd sit and cry and run after her, and she would always turn and leave. And I was left with him. So, I have this thing letting people go, afraid to be alone, afraid something will happen to me and no one will be there to stop it- even if I am all by myself with no one around.