Someone shared the website Project Unbreakable and I couldn't stop thinking about it. Survivors are photographed holding up a poster with quotes from their attacker. I started wondering if I could ever have the courage to do something like that, and what quote I would use. Then, of course, many different things came to mind.
Don't be upset, you did good.
What he said to me after the first attack
What are you so pissed off about? That I f**ked her, or that she liked it?
What he said to my brother after he was told to stay away from me
Are you crying? God, that's so hot.
What he said to me during the second attack
I always wanted to f**k her, so I did.
How he explained to his current girlfriend what had happened
Look what I turned you into. You're nothing but a sl*t now.
What I heard countless versions of for months on a daily basis
A lot of times I think the words have done more damage than anything else. I can remember every awful thing he said to me and it replays in my head as much as the assaults. I try not to talk about any of it because it's so difficult, so humiliating, and I don't know what good it will do me. I don't think I'm ever going to have the courage to write it on a poster and put it on a website for the world to see. I hope I have the courage to leave it up here.