ChildOfGod

Member
  • Content count

    9
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About ChildOfGod

  • Birthday 11/14/1986

Contact Methods

  • Website URL
    http://thecry.biz.ly

Profile Information

  • Gender identity
    Female
  • Membership Type
    Survivor
  • Location
    El Paso, Tx
  • Interests
    writing, singing, reading, composing music, helping those in need, meet new people and just having fun!
  1. Bouncing Off The Wall

    Sometimes I'm like a ball bouncing here and there Up and Down Spiraling Round And Round... Sometimes I hit the floor with a hard fall Then I spring up like I'm fine and nothing happened at all Yet later I'm bouncing off the wall! my heart beats fast, my thoughts are in and out in a flash My emotions rise and fall.. Sometimes I snap for no reason at all At times I'm happy and full with glee! Then at times I toss & turn I just can't get to sleep... At times I'm high as the sky Feeling like a bird who can fly... Sometimes I frown, walk around with my head down It's like my world is standing still. Sometimes I hold in everything, let it build up Then like a valcano, I erupt! Sometimes I lock myself in the room, Then I write down everything I feel inside! Some think I'm crazy others say I'm insane Yet The Doc. says I have a chemical imbalance aka bipolar in the form of I My mama says I'm alright, I'm just fine Then she hugs me tight and says I'm her special one aka her ray of sunshine! WOW... I beg to differ! I don't see any chemical imbalance, anything crazy nor insane.. I just see me, someone GOD made a little differently, I came to realize I may be the only one of my kind, ha! I'm not really from here I'm just passing through, creatively speaking that is! Through the eyes of a unique individual, I am who I am and I am me.. I process a little differently, sometimes I just got to let lose! Signing Off... Bouncing Off The Wall!
  2. I Am A Woman

    I pray and I hope I learn and I know I want and I need I feel and I bleed I hurt and I cry I work and I strive My soul glows from inside... I am a temple of life I am human I am a woman I am me... I am simply moni!
  3. A child for me, a girl or a boy it doesn't matter to me! With my smile and your eyes, a blessing that for once I can claim as mine... Yet, when I say I want a baby everyone begains to act crazy; talking up storm of child you don't need no baby! I've been hurt three times, maybe if I would of stayed home on my 18th brithday my son would be here in my arms on today... Got pregnant again, but this time it was twins... got up to month 4 and like a strom rushing through my body the lives of my young were taken once more! Yet when you lack the support of those you adore all the pain hurts even more... I seen more than one child in the arms and wombs of those who don't deserver... Why give a child to one who causes pain & neglect? Why not to those who love, care and will always be there? Questions fill my mind , I ask them all the time and still no answers... The voice of one in need is still calling "Lord , Please Hear My Plea!" All I ever wanted was a baby, a boy or a girl it doesn't matter to me! A child with my smile and your eye's, a blessing that for once I can claim as mine....
  4. Hi my name is Monica And I too suffer from Bipolar in the form of type I so I can relate to you! I used to think the sun would never shine when I was spiraling up and down! I don't get much sleep either, my thoughts are always racing, but I learned to over ride the way I feel by doing something that clams me and catches my attention! I take my meds and use the excesizes my doctor has provided me with! It's hard to live with any form of bipolarism, but on the bright side we are unique and there is HOPE as long as we believe! So keep your head up and know that the best is yet to come! Signing Off... -Monica
  5. Day By Day I Question

    <img src="http://c4.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images02/89/m_0d4c34b3d2bd4c55a3711b2d21ccdc9b.jpg".<br><br> I am growing wiser day by day, yet I still question a lot of things? I don't understand certain things and the reasons for them happening. I am grateful for life and all that I have, yet I ask why life is so full of the negative? I mean I thank GOD for my trials and tribulations, but some of the things I have gone through I don’t believe was GODS will. I still have problems sleeping at night, I talk in my sleep and have off the wall dreams, but the dream that stands out the most is a man coming to get me. I don’t know who this man is, but fear is grate and I feel like it’s my perpetrator trying to find me. No matter where I go, where I live this dream is still the same. I’m not at peace and I haven’t truly found it in my heart to forgive him yet. I thought I had forgave him, but every time I think about what he did to me, why he has kids and I don’t, why I can’t seem to have a normal pregnancy, why me, why do I suffer with two phobias and anxiety ?? I point everything back at him! I know in order to get right with GOD, I have to be right with myself, but if I can’t forgive anyone else, let alone myself then why should GOD forgive me! To love my enemy is one of my biggest problems, I can’t seem to get over what certain individuals have said or done to me. I seek peace in my life and peace of mind, but that peace seems so hard to find. I don’t get out much, I don’t have many friends and the ones I do have I still find it hard to trust! I just don’t think its fair for my perpetrator to live in happiness and I in misery! I want to be able to embrace the man GOD blessed me with, show him affection and not fill so distant because of my fear of a man. I have been used up to my last drop where I felt like dying and I have even tried. Some parts of me are still crying, I feel as if I still have to fight! I guess everyone heals in their own way, and may take more time than others. I am on my second chance at life or should I say in a phase of a new life and I have to learn to cope with certain things. I might have to take hold of my hope, increase my faith, think positive and after the storm there will be better days!! Meaning after my healing process I will eventually find joy and happiness in my days…
  6. Loving Youself

    HEY EVERYONE, I AM ON A NATURAL HIGH FINALLY AND ITS CALLED ,"LOVING YOURSELF"!! ANYWHO I SIT AND WONDER WHATS NEXT? THEN I HEAR A CALL ECHOING THE BEST, SO WAIT MA CAUSE ITS YET TO COME... I'VE SEEN SO MANY TROUBLES IN MY DAYS, YET I SEEN GOD MAKE AWAY OUT OF NO WAY! I WATCHED MYSELF MOLD INTO SOMEONE CALLED ME! I CAN FINALLY SAY I FOUND REAL LOVE AND ITS NOT ALL WHAT WE AS HUMANS WISH IT TOBE LOL AND THATS FOSHO.. IM LEARNING TO COPE WITH LIFE AND EMBRACE IT FOR WHAT IT IS AND NOT FOR WHAT I WISH IT TOBE... BECAUSE WE CAN WISH WITH ALL OUR MIGHTS BUT UNLESS WE ACTED ON THOSE WISHES THEY WILL NEVER COME TRUE.. EVERYONE AND EVERYTHING I HAVE COME ACROSS CAME FOR A REASON.. I DON'T HAVE ANY REGRETS, BUT NOT REALIZING THE POWER OF LOVING ME SOON! THANKS TO YOU WHOM I LOVE AND ALL THOSE WHO KNOWS STRUGGLE EQUEALS PROGRESS! THE ONE N ONLY, Monica<3