This is an amazing thread. I need to print it out and read carefully. Focusing on how the abuse affects your life today and learning to cope in relation to that, identifying how abuse influences your thinking and actions and then effecting change in those areas will increase the quality of your life... It is work that must be done and I think it should be a focus in treatment and in the healing process. I can't afford a therapist right now and have had less than helpful ones in the past. I want to try to do this work (cognitive-behavioral) on myself. I am finding that dwelling in the telling is stressing me out and definitely not moving me ahead. I have told my husband first, then friends, and I wrote a long, angry letter to my abuser which I may or may not mail. Now, I need to get to work on what is ahead for me. I feel alive, in pain, scared, sober (I used to be "high" on all my defenses, mild self-medication, religious and mystical manias.) but somehow hopeful. For myself, because I can't go back to working in another field, it seems, I may have to invent some work that helps survivors and helps prevent abuse. That may be the only thing that will finally heal me, or is that another manifestation of the perfectionist, the achiever who is going to PROVE, if it kills her, that she is not nothing, not wrong?