MelK

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About MelK

  • Rank
    Grrr
  • Birthday October 31

Profile Information

  • Gender identity
    Female
  • Membership Type
    Survivor
  • Location
    UK
  1. Thank you for the explanations. I wasn't asking to be told about any exchange between a moderator and a member - I didn't know there was any action other than possibly editing a post, which I can see om the board. I understand what you've said, and I like 1249s suggestion of some kind of anonymous confirmation that the report has been looked at. Maybe that can be done without taking up too much more of the moderators' time. Thank you all for responding.
  2. And, just out of interest, does pandys have a complaints procedure?
  3. I'm sorry but I don't understand the confidentiality issue. If I've reported Post X by Person Y and the moderator thinks there's nothing wrong with this post, what breach of confidentiality is there in telling me that? I already know that Person Y has posted Post X. The only thing I don't know is whether a moderator has even looked at my report. How does that affect members' confidentiality? If I see that no action has been taken after a week, then supposedly I can guess that the moderators didn't agree. The moderator's concerned could have told me that sooner - how could that have affected members' confidentiality?
  4. Could you say what happens when someone reports a post? How long does it usually take before a moderator will see the report? If the moderator decides to take no action, will s/he contact the person who made the report to say that?
  5. Hi Kate, Thank you for you response, and to you and the other mods for considering this. The Links section is great! It's just what I meant but I never knew it was there. Thank you for the offer to set up torture as a specific topic - please could someone do this? I haven't found much but I can share what I have and maybe other people can add more. I think moving the book discussion to Moving Forward would be a good idea. I'd have found it there. I hadn't thought about Resources being a public forum, and I understand what you said about it being for crisis support. I'll bear in mind what you said about linking to articles as well. The idea of drafting one myself about healing from torture is interesting. I think it could help my healing to do that. Thanks for suggesting it, I'll give it some thought. Thank you all again for discussing this. Mel
  6. Hi, I've managed to find the healing books section on pandys, but with some trouble because it's under "entertainment". I wonder if other people, like me, would look for something like this in "resources" and not find anything. Is it possible to link to this from the resources section, so if people look there they'll be redirected? Also, I wondered whether there could be a similar subforum for online articles and websites? I realise it might not be so straightforward because the threads couldn't be as easily named in a post header as when you have a book title, but maybe they could be by website name or under themes like relationship violence? There's an area that I'm trying to deal with - in a spoiler in case the word's a trigger and it's very hard to find any books or relevant websites about it but I'm gradually finding some online articles which are really helpful. It would be good to have a designated place to share things like this, and to get links from other people. Any chance of this? Mel
  7. Without pandys, I couldn't have faced things the way I have.
  8. I've been a member for a year and nine months. One thing I've learnt is how to express what I'm feeling.
  9. Just to add to what Susan said - I know this isn't the same as chat, but pandys does offer places to talk in detail about things in forum posts - particularly in "My Story" and "Types of SA discussions". It's not an immediate response, so not the same thing, but it's something, and it gives a chance for people who can listen to that type of detail to read what you've said and to respond. Mel
  10. yeah, I've had "try to think of something pleasant instead". would like to suggest back to them "try to think"
  11. I was just wondering about this, I'm thinking of posting some art that would definitely need a trigger warning. I noticed that the Gallery main page seems to automatically display thumbnails of the most recently uploaded images, so that could be a problem too. I like the idea of keeping the pictures in my profile somehow. Would it work to put images into a blog entry but put a trigger warning in the top part of the entry that will appear in previews on my blog main page? Would we need to make the first image a non-triggering one as well, so the triggering ones wouldn't appear in the preview? If that's a problem, I'll probably post them in Survivor Creativity with a trigger warning and link to the thread from my profile. Thanks, Mel
  12. I'm sorry you have a vampire in your life. I do too. I relate to the vampire thing, and I also relate to being asked to sympathise with other people's problems (I'm sorry... is that a PROBLEM? because if you want to know what a problem is...) There are times when I can feel for a friend because they're feeling fat/ill-used/whatever, and there are times when I get back into MY world and wonder why they can't deal with it. I understand that you're mad. Mel
  13. Yes, I found it across from the "view the latest news" box and it worked. Thank you Jayla!
  14. Sorry, don't know what I've done or how to get it back. It's the bar down the right of the Pandora's Aquarium main page (the page with the list of all the different subforums). On the right I used to see latest posts, status updates, chat topics etc. Now I just have the forum listing across the whole page. Can anyone help? Thank you. Mel
  15. I never noticed this before the upgrade, but since then I discovered that there's a place to paste notes, like notepad on a computer, where we can save thoughts, draft posts etc to go back to later. Thanks for this feature! I find this really useful so I thought I'd flag it up. I also wondered whether I'm getting into it the right way. The only way I know is: My Profile Edit my profile Settings Manage Notes Is this the right way to get into Notes, or is there a shortcut? Thank you, Mel