Opheliac

Inactive Member
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    163
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About Opheliac

  • Birthday 01/25/1984

Profile Information

  • Gender identity
    Female
  • Membership Type
    Survivor
  1. We had fairwell sex behind my car.

    Today it was bizzare. Justin's friend came to visit from the city and while he was having a shower. I decided to leave for home so I could start packing my bags for my me holiday. Justin walked me to my car on the property and I told him to give me a sec as I needed to wee. I ducked beside the car which blocked the view from the house and Justin came around the other side and watched me do my business then he pulled me up and whispered "Let's have sex before you go. I'm not going to see you for 10 nights". I muttered no what if David saw us. We ended up having sex and he hugged me tight and pecked my lips. It was weird. Just ........... strange.
  2. Okay wow. I just found out Justin's older brother is visiting with the whole family this week. I am saying wow because his brother is the only one that I haven't meet. Five years and never meet this "Great, smart, hardworking guy" cause he lives interstate. Of course Justin goes on and on about what a "douche" his brother is and how his ex-wife was cracking onto Justin etc etc. Makes me wonder why Justin has never introduced this brother to me. Is he worried that this brother will either: A: Hit on me (He is divorced although has a new partner) or B: Justin is embarassed to introduce me to him. A part of me thinks the latter. Not sure.
  3. HANDICAP a tag with a henderence.

    I am going to admit, I have a handicap. Most likely it is genetic or it was caused from being born prematurely. Either way I am stuck with this condition for life. A condition which my muscles have a weak tone. That doesn't stop me though, I am a normal thinking individual. Who can walk, write, type, sit, drive etc. To most strangers I look healthy and "normal" so they do not have a clue. However it seems people that know me can not get the grasp that I am intelligent and am capable to do tasks myself. For example, I went to my local post office. I was sending three different papers to univeristy (I studied via distance education). The lady behind the counter, looked at me as I was sorting the envelopes. The post office was packed and she pipes up in a loud voice "Opheliac do you want me to help you with that?" in a condsending tone with a sickly smile and looking at the other costumers. I muttered "no" and did what I had to do. I didn't give much of a thought until a few weeks later I had to send a money order for something I purchased. Again she was behind the counter looking at me. She pulled out an envelope "Opheliac if you want I can write on this for you." I must have pulled look as she looked sheepish and muttered something along the lines "Oh it's just some people like me to write on the envelope for them." I gave a polite no thanks. Really this woman was trying my patience. After coming to the store to send another paper. She was "Opheliac, I was wond.." I cut her off and snarled "Look I have fingers and hands. I know how to write." She jumped a little and blushed "Oh I was wondering if that was all you wanted today." Ever since she kind of says a gruff hello, and does what she has to. It's just a person with a problem wants some dignity. Geez is that to much to ask. Sorry just wanted to relate an experience I have had.
  4. A dream of him

    I had such a vivd dream last night. In my dream, I find a deflated ball with a pump. I pump up the ball to its original size. I walk over to a community gathering something to do with the state of the roads and it's enviroment. As I am walking towards the meeting Justin stands in front of me, I look up at him and the ball falls out of my grasp. It falls onto the ground and brakes apart, water gushes out and sprays Justin's face. He wipes his face and I apologize. As this is happening his mother comes out of nowhere and starts to push me to the ground and screaming at me. Justin is behind her grinning at her and the only sane one is his father. Who is trying to pull her off me. What strange dream.
  5. I rang a rape crisis line. I started by telling her that I was numb and live my life as if the rape never happened. I went into detail on what had happened when I was raped. Part way through she stopped me and said "You should stop telling me what he has been doing to you. I want to know how your feeling. How is this effecting your life?" My response in my mind was WTF I already told you that I put a facade on my being when I am in public and act like nothing happened. I was still in shock on what Justin has done to me and need to tell someone the details. (I am one of these people that when asked to recount something I do it like a story and recount every minute detail).
  6. Last month I was away for 12 nights and I didn't see my boyfriend until three days after I came home. I stayed at his place and he was actually "nice" to me. When I woke up the next day before him and stared at his features, I couldn't help but think he wasn't as attractive as I believed he once was. His face riddled with deep lines on his forehead, his nose is bulbous and his hair was greasy from not being washed for three weeks (he doesn't like his hair being fluffy) He pulled me from my thoughts when he saw I was awake and pulled my head over to his mouth and he proceeded to lick my left eye (because he didn't like the way it was moving). Months and years ago I idolized him. I thought he was beautiful and he has a very nice voice. I admitted I chased him for nearly two and half years. Until he actually got infaturated with an older woman from interstate and he was bragged about her infront of me (another post). This is until the woman lost interest in him for some unknown reason. When she lost interest in him he started to crawl back to me in a subtle way and lets see a few months later a telemarketer called asking if he was interested a movie promotion. He said no but his girlfriend was interested in movies. Unbeknown to me I magically became his girlfriend without my knowledge even though he isn't affectionate towards me.
  7. Lately I have been listening to Emilie Autumn, who I have to say has an amazing voice, a wide vocal range and is a great musician, composer and song writer. Although her lyrics are bit morbid and quirky. When I want to let go of my rage I listen to her songs. Song: Misery Loves Company This bit of the lyrics makes me think of my other half when he forcefully sodomises me. ~*~ Song: Gothic Lolita This song reminds me the child like nature I have. I am not childish just playfully childlike. My other half never understood and told me infront of patrons at a resturant that I have the mental ability of a five year old and need to stop. Also my other half is ten years my senior. Some people think the song is about the Japanese fashion Gothic Lolita. But it is obvious about a girl that has been molested, it even mentions the character Lolita. (Gothic Lolita fashion consists of girls dressing up in dolly/victoriana costumes). ~*~ Song: I want my innocence back This song is very dark and you can hear the rage in her voice. The lyrics Makes me think of what my other half says when he is abusing me verbally and sexually. The songs has helped me.
  8. Hello, my name is Opehlia. hope to make friends on here.
  9. I recently went to a Gyno first time. As I am discharging a disgusting fishy discharge (thought it was BV but am thinking I might have a small tear between my anal/vaginal wall. As both Vagina and anus are leaking different discharges) Anyway when I got there, he had a student with him. The girl was my age/perhaps a year or too younger and she was filling notes. I handed him my referal, he questioned me about what things I have done and I replied that I have had anal sex. He looked at me and said "Is this consentual?" I felt my face go red and I couldn't bring myself to say most of the time it wasn't. So I looked behind him and automatically said "Yes, we do it once a week." I think he could see through me as he went on to give me a lecture on it being a homosexual practice. I thought he was going to exam me but he didn't just filled out a prescription and sent me on my way. The medication hasn't cleared up the problem so it looks like I'm going to make an appointment with him tomorrow.