callalily

Member
  • Content count

    267
  • Joined

  • Last visited

4 Followers

About callalily

Contact Methods

  • Website URL
    http://

Profile Information

  • Gender identity
    Female
  • Membership Type
    Survivor
  1. 1. It was my fault because I went into his room by myself 2. It was my fault because I kept going back into his room, even though I knew what would happen 3. It was my fault because I didn't clearly state that my boundaries were no sex if he didn't marry me, not in those words at least 4. It was my fault because I got back together with him after it happened 5. It was my fault because I was attracted to him 6. It was my fault because I don't remember clearly saying "no" the first time he went all the way 7. It was my fault because my body responded 8. It was my fault because I didn't call it SA at the time, although I knew something was wrong 9. It was my fault because he believed that I changed my mind and agreed with him, so I must have been unclear 10. It was my fault because I felt like it was my fault 11. It was my fault because I initiated it sometimes after that 12. It was my fault because I stayed with him for 2 years and kept going back 13. It was my fault because he wasn't violent and didn't hold me down physically or hit me or threaten my life 14. It was my fault because he told me I had sexual power over him and that we were both addicted to sex and just couldn't control ourselves 15. It was my fault because I needed his love and wasn't strong enough to stand on my own 16. It was my fault because of my sexual history and past addictions, I must not be a person of strong moral character 17. It was my fault because I'm not a child, I'm an adult, and I should know better --- 1. It wasn't my fault because he told me I could trust him and that he wouldn't push me for sex, and I believed his lies 2. It wasn't my fault because the first time he pushed me, I started crying and told him I couldn't do this and wasn't ready 3. It wasn't my fault because I was crying so many times when he was doing it, and he should have known better 4. It wasn't my fault because I told him I didn't want a sexual relationship, I wanted to wait, etc. and he kept pushing 5. It wasn't my fault because I told him very clearly that I wanted to back down our physical relationship, and he acted like I was hurting him 6. It wasn't my fault because he took control of my mind and body and will, telling me that he was healing me, that he needed this, and that it was ok for him to touch me 7. It wasn't my fault because he used mind games, manipulation, verbal abuse, and spiritual abuse to get me to give in to him and he knew that I was confused and struggling 8. It wasn't my fault because I trusted him, as a pastor-in-training 9. It wasn't my fault because I never wanted this to happen, and when I gave in, it was only because I felt I had no other choice and he would leave me 10. It wasn't my fault because I needed love and he said he loved me and would never hurt me 11. It wasn't my fault because I was incredibly vulnerable when he met me 12. It wasn't my fault because he never once asked me if it was ok with me 13. It wasn't my fault because he took every chance he could get, even if I had just told him no, he was opportunistic and would get me at a weak point 14. It wasn't my fault because I was afraid of him 15. It wasn't my fault because he used many of the same tactics as a child abuser would, and I am very damaged and immature in this area 16. It wasn't my fault because he had alot of self control and knew that this was wrong and had an agenda 17. It wasn't my fault because he had done this before and he lied to me about only sleeping with women he loved 18. It wasn't my fault because he was always in his own world when it happened and did everything for him, even pleasuring me was for him to feel good about himself, he told me he wanted to possess me and see my soul (twisted man!) 19. It wasn't my fault because he ran me down constantly and blew up randomly, would never let me bring up my concerns, and twisted everything so I believed it was my fault 20. It wasn't my fault because I did everything I could to love him and give him the benefit of the doubt, and that only made him abuse me more --- Sorry so long....I had to keep going until I got more "it wasn't my fault" sentences and it took awhile. This is a great exercise, thank you. -callalily-