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About janiedeland

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  • Birthday 08/06/1951

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    reading, helping others, becoming healthy in all areas of my life, county music, my children, playing cards, and camping
  1. The worst betrayal is the lack of trust that occurs when you are sexually abused by your grandfather. You go through life not trusting others who had nothing to do with your abuse but none the less suffer the consequences of it.
  2. Thanks so much for posting this, it is very useful information. Thanks again.
  3. So sorry she did not factor in the price you paid, because if she though money could cover it your uncle would never had been rich enough to pay the price for what he did to you.
  4. The first person to betray me was the perpetrator, my grandfather, then my mother betrayed me by treating me like I was a slut/whore because it happened at 5 years old, the third betrayal was no one helped me as a child make sense of any of it, the fourth betrayal everyone swept it under the rug like it never happened, and the firth betrayal was I betrayed myself until I was I was forty years old.
  5. Were you silenced by someone? My grandfather told me my father wouldn't love me anymore, but I finally could not take the sexual abuse any longer and told. 2. Have others, besides the abuser, betrayed you? (In relation to your abuser?) My mother betrayed me because she blamed me for the abuse. 3. Did you tell people in a way other than words about your abuse? (anorexia, withdrawal, etc.) When I got older, I buried myself in a bottle of beer, but I'm almost 26 years sober now. 4. The dammage of betrayal is deepening the conviction that relationships can neither be enjoyed, trusted, nor expected to last. Do you agree with this statement, why or why not? The damage of betrayal can take a toll on your relationships, but if you work hard on healing, you will be able to have reasonably successful relationship. It all takes time and energy. 5. How do you see yourself now? I see myself as a stronger individual traveling a long a very long journey of healing. I see myself as a survivor who is not willing to give the perpetrator power and control over who I am. 6. Have you begun to tell others about your abuse? What have your experiences been like? I have told a few select people about my sexual abuse outside of Pandy's. The experience has been positive and supportive. However, I feel more support from Pandy members because they know what I am going through. 7. Do you trust others? Do you trust yourself? I have a difficult time trusting others but am working on it. I am learning to trust that I will make appropriate decisions for myself. Thank you for posting these questions. They gave me some food for thought.
  6. If you were my sister this is what I would say: You are not alone on your journey of healing, take back the power that belongs to you not the perpetrator, because he/she is the guilty one, not you. Know you are a beautiful individual created by GOD, to be blessed with many things. Take things a minute at a time if necessary, but take them, don't ignore them. I would tell you you are more my sister than my blood sisters because you know where I have been and how difficult it is some days to cope. WE ARE SURVIVORS.