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About Jenn2000

  • Birthday 08/27/1980

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  • Location
    Lost Coast
  • Interests
    I love reading most of all, also watching movies and TV Dramas. I work in a fabric store and when I am not working I design and make clothes and costumes.
  1. Reclaiming my Birthday

    Eight years ago on my birthday I found out that I had gotten pregnant as a result of being raped. As if being raped wasn't bad enough now I had to face this. I am not sure what bad luck led to me actually finding out on my birthday but for the last seven years it has ruined what should be a happy day for me. I couldn't even find the energy to celebrate my 21st birthday. So this year it has been eight years since the rape and 6 months since I started therapy, so I decided I would throw myself a party for my birthday to celebrate both. After I announced it I started to have second thought "What if no one comes?" "What if I can't handle being around that many people?" all the wonderful thoughts that tend to play in my head. Sensing my distress a friend came up to help me get ready for the party and it turned out to be a fantastic evening with friends. I am hoping to throw and even bigger party next year, actually looking forward to my birthday feels really good.
  2. Friends

    I don't know what I would do without my friends. No matter how many times I stumble on this journey they are always right beside me to give me a hand up. I was afraid they would get sick of dealing with me but instead friendships have strengthened as I have broken my silence. I can never thank them enough, I am so lucky to have them.
  3. I know that not only was it premeditated but that I was not the first or last girl to be tortured like I was. My "best friend" sold me to a group of guys and she drugged me too. I was tortured for three days before they got tired of me and she came back to take me home. She then told all our other friends that it was my idea, no one believed that I had been raped. Jenn
  4. Health

    Well I got good news from my doctor today for a change. I was diagnosed with HPV in February (given to me during the assault) and because I hadn't been to the doctor in 7 years it had progressed to the pre-cancer stage. I had two smaller procedures done and it looked like I might have to have a hysterectomy before the end of the year. I worked really hard to eat healthy and exercise more over the last three months as well as take the vitamins the doctor suggested. Today she told me that my test had come back normal for the second time and that we could cancel the surgery for now. I am so happy, I have too much other stuff to deal with in my life right now and now I have one less
  5. Memories

    I survived my anniversary only to be flooded with new memories in the past few days. I feel like I am loosing my mind because I can't piece together what happened. It is all a jumble in my head that I can't seem to sort out. Some days I wonder if any of this really happened, it feels like something from a Lifetime Afternoon Movie. Are my memories even real?
  6. Anniversary

    I felt this was a good time for me to start this blog, I just passed my 8 year a few days ago and my 5 month anniversary of finally breaking my silence. I hope that in sharing my journey maybe I can help someone else avoid the torment I have put myself through these last 8 years. I let the pain take over my life until I didn't recognize, like, or respect the person I had become. I am now journeying to reclaim my life and find out who I want to be.