So this is my first blog and I really am just so confused? I wanted to just go on in my life and put this thing behind me, but after trying to swollow a bottle of pills and almost ending my own life it finally hit me. For the first time in my life I came to realize that every choice I make, down to the cloths that I put on every day, he effects it. I cant even have a healthy relationship with friends. I am angry with him for controlling my life, even after all this time, and I am even more upset with myself for giving him that controll. I feel betrayed how could my mother not stay by my side how could she "choice" him over me and to this day still not care that he hut me? Does she believe me or does she even care? When will I get over? Will I even stop have flash backs? Will I ever fid a man to care for me and accept that I am broken? I am sooooo Confused and hurt!