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About bettyred

  • Birthday 03/10/1980

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    Art, Photography, Esthiology, anything that deals with color really...
  1. I have to thank you... I know this probably isn't the place to say this.. but I felt it went with your post. I started boxing, training... changed my 'lifestyle' and regardless of what it has done to my body- which has been positive... what it has done mentally is so much more important. I have hidden myself for so long behind my fat, unhealthy body... giving myself an excuse not to put myself in uncomfortable situations. I, Miss Recluse, have started boxing... it's me, myself, and I when I train... You kept telling me about how great you thought boxing was and it inspired me to try. I wanted to box when I was 12 but after being molested and turning inward... I didn't have the confidence. I never knew that it would be so life changing... it's not only empowering.. it's a great way to get into shape. So, Thank you FitGirl- you will always be an inspiration and a source of courage. No more letting the men who changed us... ruin us... We will prevail!
  2. I think a lot of people go through this, it's the way our minds deal with these things.. its like if if your friend accidentally bumped into your leg with the car... you'd be more pissed off at how hard the cars bumper was than you would be with your friend LOL YOU know that's true lol Yes, you'll get through this, I'm six years in this Janaury... have already told you I am not the example to follow- I still dislike me, but am ok with being a woman... I dislike what I've become, I used to be kinda cute LOL Now, I'm like OMG thats what I did to myself. The hardest part is really coming to terms with YOU being ok with YOU-- the new you, the old you.. the you that you wish you were.. You're special and a GREAT person, I can't believe how awesome you are- and yes that was nerdy as hell but Come on!! lol
  3. blah, im having to catch up on your blog- forgive me.. I'm going to comment on all of them so you'll have some REALLY annoying stuff to read next time you check it HA! I talked to you tonight and you only communicate about half of what you're going through on the phone, so lemme say this... THERE is no way that a judge would let him out of the order with you being so upset by it, you've gone over what you want to say, now write it down- make it pissed off scribble on a notecard and hand it to your lawyer that goes in with you- and say I need this to be said, by you OR me... don't belittle yourself for getting upset that it happened to you- you have a RIGHT to be upset, a RIGHT to cry... to flip out every now and again.. you're stressing and working so hard to keep it together... I'm here for you- much love and support from me.
  4. foreverhurt- you are so right- which is why i go out of my way to make sure i don't stress- just some days my hormones don't allow me to minimize it LOL if that makes sense... and the biggest decision I am trying to make is pulling him from this environment completely- most days i think we absolutely should have our own place. I take him to my aunts where it's just us for a weekend and by the time the weekend is up, he's soo very ready to go back home. sigh.... lol thanks so much for the reply
  5. life is stressful!

    *deep breath* time for a rant, my life is stressful........ i know everyone's is... but i need to rant so very, very much... when i lived on my own, the only stress i had- was my stress- my issues- my rent, my bills..... etc... now that i moved back in with my parents i have THEIR stress too. my son is now five, i've somehow become a prisoner here- or rather there's some huge black hole that keeps pulling me back here whenever i have the opportunity to make it for myself- my son needs that, yet he knows this is home and loves being here... i can't help but think that this is hurting him more than helping him, yet i'm the only one- i've been working with a law firm, getting my own business going, doing tons of non-profit work... but my parents have major financial issues and no matter what kind of money i bring in- it doesn't seem to fix anything. constantly fluctuating stress... foreclosure, constantly searching for food money, can't pay the bills and buy food- and yet i feel totally responsible because no matter how much i help, we're still expenses. my son gets treated very, very, very well yet i'm the one that is constantly being emotionally pushed and prodded because they need someone to take their stress out on... is this the exchange? my mothers health has taken a turn for the worse, my fathers health hasnt been that great but no matter what i contribute it never seems enough. is soooooooooooo very stressful and annoying and christmas has made it worse. the inability to pay bills and take care of everything around the house, left us without any real christmas for my kiddo- he's five and he is finding it hard to believe in santa- what kid is like that? he's far too rational for his own good and some days he seems more like the adult- i sold everything that i had to sell in order to give him christmas but i dont think that helped- he doesnt care what he gets, he isn't that sort of spoiled... i just think that its so important that he have something to believe in... i already have to talk to him about not having a daddy- telling a five year old that his father was a rapist is not an option, so his constant "i want a dad" or "why doesn't my daddy want me" is hard... i always come up with "i'm just waiting for you to have the perfect daddy" and my father keeps telling me to tell him the truth- what is the truth? argh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ok, sorry- you sat through all of that, i deal pretty well but right now i'm just stressed out and tired of the BS that comes with my life... maybe one day it will be so much better--- end of rant.
  6. I know I'm going to sound silly, because I'm sure you've asked around... I just don't know your story that well... but there has to be some sort of legal something that can at least block him from any sort of contact if you worry about the safety of your child. don't know that there is for sure, but I'd hope that a government of any sort would attempt it.
  7. Gym phobia- I had one I still hate going by myself, I finally convinced a friend of mine to just start walking the park then gradually moved up to the gym parking lot, then the gym... I went late at night because all the hunky body builders were in there and knowing they were more concerned with themselves made it all the more fun for me LOL You'll be able to do it, Norah. Don't pressure yourself or let anyone else pressure you. Baby steps, you made it to the parking lot! Much Support to you!