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hugs?

Posted by HealedbyGod in Sadie-Jo speaks: my inner child's thoughts, 20 April 2014 · 4 views

Hbg says to put trigger warning on this first

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trigger
I can feel his hands on me all over and his voice in my ear
trigger
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its been bad all day and now my head hurts and I want to cry hut I don't want to cry too. I'm feeling very scared and just confused. Hbg says I can ask for hugs like she does but idk I just :(
I feel like if I ask...

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Day 131: Fear, I mean, Four Days to Next ObGyn Appointment

Posted by intrepidshe in Intrepid She, 20 April 2014 · 15 views

Apr. 19, 2014 Countdown: 4 days to ObGyn Appointment (61 Days Into Becoming):
 
In light of my recent reactions to doctor appointments, I decided I'll write my list of fears, in order to give myself a few days to think about it, hear from others, and work on my plan. On the up side, this will be a talk only appointment. On the down side i...

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on holiday

Posted by whodatninja in Reset Button, 20 April 2014 · 6 views

spent easter dinner at RJ house. i of course got hammered before going, drinking at DK's house the day before with him and his wife. i got a painkiller from DK because my back is acting up again and it was nice for a little while. but i couldn't really relax fretting about today, which wasn't too bad. (then again, i was drinking so i really didn't care)....

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Life does not look back

Posted by EVH in EVH's Blog, 20 April 2014 · 9 views

One of the 1000000000 thoughts running through my head today:
 
“When we least expect it, life sets us a challenge to test our courage and willingness to change; at such a moment, there is no point in pretending that nothing has happened or in saying that we are not yet ready. The challenge will not wait. Life does not look back.”...

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Oh, yes, must be Easter Sunday

Posted by Qrious in Q's questing, 20 April 2014 · 21 views

Absolute SHOCKER of a day.

Know not to expect too much from Easter Sunday, the day ten years ago that my father died unexpectedly, and then six years ago my father-in-law died, also unexpectedly, but still.

Went to visit my mother in law, just out of hospital after a colostomy to deal with complications from her spinal injury, six years ago, Mothering S...

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Self Blame

Posted by Shannon09 in Shannon09's Blog, 20 April 2014 · 12 views

I trusted you, to the fullest extent I could trust someone that I had recently met. You led me on and led me to believe that more was going on then there was. You weren't looking for a relationship, just some toy for your personal gratification but you were willing to put on quite the show. Walks in the park, buying meals, spending time just lying on your...

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Homework Trouble

Posted by kaylack in Finding Myself, 20 April 2014 · 23 views

My T is really quite brilliant in how she gets me to talk. It drives me past the point of irritation and I frequently spend a bit of time glaring at her from under the blanket in her office after I realize she has somehow made me forget to put my guard up and actually answer her questions. I hate it. I hate saying these things. I hate telling her what hap...

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A feeling of suffocation

Posted by Mand in Mand's Blog, 20 April 2014 · 46 views

At the end of my last session with my T, I happened to mention that there were times when I couldn't abide the physical touch of my DH or children. I get a feeling of suffocation when they (from my point of view) demand physical contact with me. I will push my DH away and say to him "Don't touch me". I try to not to this to my children as it is what mum d...

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A Man Without A Face

Posted by nephar in Survivorship, 20 April 2014 · 12 views

I have been in contact with issues in church abuse concerns with my own experience, this is a link which may be useful for some persons.
 
http://www.snapnetwork.org/
 
I view out side belief in my own case since I had to take a type of impeachment as a witness fixed in religion having helped get me out of trouble. Problem, persons of influence...

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blogs for thought

Posted by relysis in relysis' Blog, 19 April 2014 · 19 views

I have noticed and I mean this in a supportive way, that when you have been dealt a rough hand in life that it is easier to notice, feel and appreciate the finer things in life.

when someone does something nice, I notice that most people just take it as an everyday thing and some expect nothing less. However, if it happens to me, I am shocked that some...

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ENOUGH ALREADY!

Posted by Seanna in Seanna's Life, 19 April 2014 · 25 views

I just can't take this anymore.  Too much too much too much.  Work stress (good stress) Family stress (also good stress) and household bill stress - not so good, but not  bad.  The stressors I have right now are sucking the life out of me and I feel like I have no control of my life at all.  3 kids, 2 dogs, a husband and a sa...

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A new day

Posted by ohmy in ohmy's Blog, 19 April 2014 · 11 views

Its Easter day.
My daughter has come from interstate which was a gorgeous surprise. 
Tonight I have a family dinner which is always a trial but damn it... I refuse to let it take me over.
I WILL BE HAPPY today.
PS lots of chocolate really helps the mood....
http://www.pandys.or...ult/thumbup.gif

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easter

Posted by crazycatgirl in my crazy life, 19 April 2014 · 22 views

I don't remember if easter is an anni for me but I know my cousin often came over around easter....I think the association with him has been enough to make the last few days triggering.easter is supposed to be about jesus supposedly rising from the dead......will I ever rise to a place where my abuse no longer hurts me? I still don't know what I believe r...

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the billionth time posting about this... TW

Posted by afblue1991 in afblue1991's Blog, 18 April 2014 · 31 views

He tied me further. Completely immobilizing me. I was trapped. I was scared. I was unsure of why he was doing this. He went back to doing what he was doing before. He was putting his fingers inside me and was having oral sex with me. 

He was being rough with me. It hurt. He wouldn't stop. I asked him 'what was he doing to me?'  He snapped at...

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I, somehow, actually like him.

Posted by OakingRiverTam in OakingRiverTam's Blog, 18 April 2014 · 21 views

I am an insane person. It should not be, but somehow it is. Good God! Has no one else gone through this?

How do I make this go away?! :0 :\ This is impossible. It was guaranteed to be impossible. How did this happen? Why is it happening?

You hurt me.

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Needed vent TW

Posted by Simpletruth in Simpletruth's Blog, 18 April 2014 · 26 views

Fear has been a huge influence lately.
I'm afraid of so many different things.
So I just thought I'd explore them.
Just list them out and write till all hell falls out.
1. I'm terrified of going to university.
Another land. All alone. No help. No him. Nothing. I mean God will be there and so will Debbie. But that's not the same. That's not the support tha...

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T wasn't even quite sure what happened

Posted by SilverandBlue in Learning not to Remember, 18 April 2014 · 63 views

And heck, neither am I. It was so odd. Let me run through what  remember happening. Which isn't much because I don't quite remember.
 
As my previous post was about, I didn't want to go to T today. I knew full well that with 2 weeks of supressing any thought pertaining to memories I was going to be a mess, dissocated with wandering thoughts and...

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my brother

Posted by stronger98 in stronger98's Blog, 18 April 2014 · 49 views

Why.

You Taught Me Empathy.
You Taught Me Love.

You Taught Me Mercy.
You Taught Me Kindness.

You Taught Me Compassion
You Taught Me Tolerance.

Why.

I Remember When You Would Hug Me When Mom And Dad Were Fighting.
I Remember Those Times When You SafEd Me From Mom. You Saved My Life.
You Were My Protector. You Were My Father.


So...Why Did You Tur...

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Not sure where to begin- or what beginning is.

Posted by desiret in Secretly Awesome, 18 April 2014 · 25 views

I've been crossing so many of my "lines" with the people close to me lately that I just feel consciously anxious.
 
It all started when I told my dad the truth about J.  About how long that abuse was going on.  His response was "How does someone survive something like that?".  Yeah Dad? Because your reaction when I was twelve was somet...

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I'm not normal

Posted by lauru in Muted Rage and Vindictive Hate, 17 April 2014 · 48 views

I'm not normal. I have bipolar and OCD, and I was abused, horribly. I didn't have a normal childhood or a normal adulthood. I know this. But I hate it. I want to be normal. You know what I mean, the kid whose father didn't rape her. The young adult who doesn't attempt to take her life more than 5 times. The adult that hasn't been in the psych hospital mor...



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