Most people, when they get depressed, will turn to food. I lose my appetite for food. When people ask me how I stay so slim, how do I say, "Depression and self-loathing" without sounding pathetic? When I talk about my crap, I become a wet blanket and soak the life out of things. I'm seen as this perky person and inside, I can't help but feel phoney, that I'm a huge liar. If I were to write a book, a script, a novel, what would be the main message I wanted to put across? How do I want people to feel as they're reading this? When I was in therapy, he suggested I write this all down, but fear got in my way. I imagined more disbelief and only people who'd been raped to read it. Who wants to read about a topic, right? Nobody wants to read about it or even think about it. They justify it, rationalize the victim's actions and move on with their false sense of security. When I'm alone and heartbroken, I'll never tire of this topic rolling around in my head. When I thought someone loved me, the last thing I wanted to think or talk about was the ugly incident. I want to bury it and put it to rest, but with my heart broken, it has come back to haunt me. I need some love balm!