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Just Gimme a Sec

Posted by raw&burnt , 10 May 2012 · 46 views

I need to go to sleep, but I just wanted to jot down some thoughts.
If anyone is also seeing someone that's been molested when they were younger, how do you deal with it?
I love her and I care about her, but she told me in the middle of making out.
I'm afraid of triggering her and just making her feel like a thing instead of a sexual being. I see how sexy she is and she's beautiful, but she's not the type to throw herself at anyone, she doesn't pour it on to lure anyone. She doesn't seduce. She has a natural quality, a sincerity that draws you to her. We kiss and that's it.
To be blunt, I've been masturbating lately, so that I don't get frustrated. I've been frustrated sexually for a few weeks, since the last time we had sex. When we did, she seemed to like it.
I'm afraid to talk to her.
To have intimate chit chat with anyone just brings me out of my comfort zone. I have to burst out of it but I can't resist staying in it.
This whole thing has triggered my own crap.
I almost wished she hadn't told me.
I told myself that this'll bring us closer, that we can work on our crap, but I feel like I want to hide inside of myself.
I'll either mess this up or, I don't know.
This is the first real chance of having a girlfriend, of having someone really care about me, trust me enough to confide in me about this and I could possibly ruin this.
I had the chance to stay a little longer. I figured that there'd be making out, but I just wasn't in the mood. I'm still not.

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