Hate Me

Donna Mae DePola - Guest Speaker Chat ...May 25th 2013 ... for more information please read this!

There is still plenty of time and spaces if you'd like to sign up for the Guest Speaker Chat scheduled for this Saturday!

Welcome to Pandora's Aquarium, a rape, sexual assault, and sexual abuse survivor message board and chat room.
If you've been a victim of any type of sexual violence, you belong here. What you see below represents just a fraction of the resources and survivor support available. Register now to join our community and take full advantage of what this online support group has to offer you as you heal and recover, or sign in to remove this message.

You are not alone, we can support you as you heal, and you've made an important step toward recovery by reaching out. If you are unable to register or have any questions, please contact the staff or view our home page.

Hate Me

14 July 2008

Posted by raw&burnt

I always feel like there's something about me to dislike, like I'm a nerd, or stupid, or vain, or just the biggest loser. Most of the time, I blame the trauma of the rape, but other times, I blame my old self. The self-loathing follows me everyday, and I feel like everyone's opinion, especially negative, is correct. I disbelieve their flattery, thinking that they're patronizing me. I even think I'm hateful towards men, straights, whites, every other race, other black people, other lesbians, other bisexuals, transsexuals: I'm horrible! I have these thoughts that I'm the most flawed person I know, that I'm wrong about everything and that everyone else is right.

I hate myself.

I don't get what others who've had sex with me see. I don't get why anyone would find me attractive.

I'm depressing myself. Feels punishing.

Why do I do this to myself?

Even this entry makes me hate myself.

I wanna barf.

Tags: Ramblings

Share This Entry: