Pandora's Aquarium: Guest Book Writings for Chuffnutt. - Pandora's Aquarium

You asked about what THE BIRTH ORDER BOOK says about middle children with older and younger sibs of the opposite sex... I know somewhere I’ve read comparison charts of characteristics of different family combinations, but it isn’t put that specifically in that book. What they do have is too detailed to quote… You ought to check it out at the library or pick up a copy if you’re interested. Assuming you’re talking about yourself… Anyway… Here’s my take. Keep in mind, I’ve read some of your entries, but not your archive. This is ONLY based on what I know of birth order and personal experience… The middle child tends to “react” to the firstborn, in blunt English, they tend to go the opposite way to establish their own separate identity. If the firstborn is a pleaser, the second-born will be the rebel. If the firstborn is independent, the second-born is likely to be a pleaser. I was a pleaser, and my younger sister was the rebel. The middle child tends to be more easygoing. They are stronger and well-balanced because they are caught between the “perfect” firstborn and the “spoiled” baby. (In quotes because I am referring to perception, not reality.) They are stronger because they’ve had to fight for attention. They tend to be joiners. (They have to find SOME way to get attention.) BUT… When the middle child is the only one of the opposite sex, some of the rules change. You have the middle child characteristics, but also some firstborn and even some only child characteristics. Probably there were some firstborn expectations put on you by your parents. (“Only” is like firstborn, only more so, except they tended to get more attention growing up—obviously.) As the only girl, stuck between two brothers, I’d guess your parents wanted a princess and you were a tomboy. (You had to be! How else would you find somebody to play with at home?) I’d guess you were a bit sheltered, and your older brother was expected to “look after” you, whether you felt you needed looking after or not. I don’t know the gap between you—that makes a difference—but you probably weren’t overly-thrilled to get a baby brother. So… I’d say you set high standards, but the world doesn’t end if you don’t meet them. You can enter a contest wanting to win but still have a good time if you lose. You can get a committee of people to cooperate, even if you aren’t the leader. I’d say your friends are very important to you. Based on my family dynamics, I’d say it’s possible you are the family anchor, the one who makes a point to keep everybody in touch. You’re good with people, so you can handle a relationship with any birth order. And, yet, you are probably independent, both from fighting for your place in the family AND from being the only girl. Let me know if any of this fits, OK? Now I’m curious. :)/>