Pandora's Aquarium: Megan's Law ~ Answers from Raw&Burnt - Pandora's Aquarium

Megan's Law ~ Facts About Sex OffendersI've replaced the factual answers and added my own responses to make it personalMost men who commit sexual offenses do not know their victim.I knew the babysitters and my parents trusted them, and my parents trusted only other black people One time, my mom saw another black kid at a bus stop and said she'd pick him up but not a white kid. Obviously she had no clue about our babysitters. The neighbour how R'd me was a friend and constantly labelled as a decent guy. I felt like they wanted to know what made me tick so they could figure out my thumbscrews.--------------------------------------------------------------------------------Most sexual assaults are committed by someone of the same race as the victim. The babysitters who violated me were also black. The guy who R'd me was of Iranian descent. My frienemies tried to make me out as a racist when they'd weasel conversations about Iran to test my reactions about them. I feel nervous around other black men, like they want something from me. I could never figure out what that was until now, but that's something that always stuck in my brain. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------Most child sexual abusers use physical force or threat to gain compliance from their victims. They both acted playful. I don't ever remember any bruises and I don't think they think they did anything harmful. They probably believed in the myths and stereotypes about sexual abuse, so they figured since they didn't fit the bill that they were exempt. Afterwards, you feel like you gave it up because of the persuasion or manipulation involved.--------------------------------------------------------------------------------Most child sexual abusers find their victims by frequenting such places as schoolyards and playgrounds. All they needed to do was await a phone call to babysit my brothers and I, or when their sister couldn't do it for them. The idea makes it easier to identify such predators, but they're everywhere and closer than you think.--------------------------------------------------------------------------------Only men commit sexual assault. I'm sure there are some men on this board who can say otherwise, or women who've been assaulted by other women who could totally disagree with this. I've never met or known anyone who was assaulted by a woman.I've never been assaulted by a woman, but I'm aware that women do it. I saw something on a talk show about it, and the audience was so insensitive and ridiculous about the male victim. He was brave for coming forth though.--------------------------------------------------------------------------------Child sexual abusers are only attracted to children and are not capable of appropriate sexual relationships.That's what I use to think.There was a News item about a respected surgeon who was married, had a step child, but raped a woman. It was later discovered that he molested the stepdaughter. I don't know of the present lives of the past predators, but I'm sure they move about society looking like average citizens. I use to think they were only attracted to kids, but with further research, I know different. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------Victims of sexual assault are harmed only when offenders use force.If that's true, than why do I feel so damaged? I can't show any bruises, but I feel them inside. No one would believe me. I can't help but think that if I had bruises to show, they I'd be believed, but I also think that would still do nothing for my credibility.--------------------------------------------------------------------------------If a child does not tell anyone about the abuse, it is because he or she must have consented to it.How do you tell someone, "Hey everybody, I've been molested, eventhough I haven't a clue what the hell that means!"? How do you explain something that confuses you and makes you feel so ashamed? The emotional pain that comes up is hard to express when you're so young. You know something wrong happened, but you know that saying anything about it will make things worse and dramatic. You also know that when you go for so long without saying anything, people will question your motives for bringing it up after so long.--------------------------------------------------------------------------------It is common for both child and adult victims of sexual assault to wait some time before telling someone about the abuse.It took my a long time to even understand what happened to me.It's such a difficult thing to admit to, that someone had access to you physically when you said no. Like wrenching candy from your hand when you gripped as tight as you could to avoid it being taken. There's shame in being violated and shame in admitting it outloud. Sometimes I wished I'd never done anything about it or even realized what happened, but knowing that that is more damaging has come to my senses. I've been in therapy and now know that that little bit helped, even if it was cut short.--------------------------------------------------------------------------------If someone sexually assaults an adult, he will not target children as victims, and if someone sexually assaults a child, he will not target adults. You never know what to make of people these days. Makes you wonder what creates a predator. This statement just complicates things and my thinking about this whole thing. I wonder who created that statement for everyone to believe it as true? How easy it is to think this and say to yourself, " Well, it'll never happen to me".--------------------------------------------------------------------------------It helps the victim to talk about the abuse. That's all I wanted from my friends, but they......they piss me off at how they handled the whole thing that they knew nothing about. Too many people got involved that should've minded their own business but messed it up. They didn't want to hear what a horrible thing their friend did, didn't want to believe it, so they'd shut me up or find other ways to disregard me. One tried to convince me that it was all in my head, to seek a hypnotherapist to get rid of "Whatever it is You believe happened" as he put it. I can't believe he really meant that, that he said that to manipulate me. What a harmful thing to say! --------------------------------------------------------------------------------Sexual gratification is often not a primary motivation for a rape offender. I definitely got no gratification, except that it was over in under a minute. What a horrible life one must lead to think this is the only way to get off. I could never treat someone like this and be completely selfish in inflicting my body upon someone else. I don't have that drive to pounce on someone so vulnerable and have that false sense of power over someone to feel whole. I could never do that. I was with a woman once, and I was undressing her. She looked upset, so I dressed her back up, feeling like I was doing something wrong. She didn't tell me what exactly the problem was, but what I saw on her face didn't get me off. It actually turned me off. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------Offenders could stop their sexually violent behavior on their own if they wanted to. If only that were true. I don't know too much about that. One way for them to stop it: a sharp object and some sulfuric acid to pour on the wound.--------------------------------------------------------------------------------Men who rape do so because they cannot find a consenting sexual partner. This is how they can get away with it: they say they've got someone and didn't neet you, so it makes you look like you made it up. Like if you're gay and you marry someone of the opposite sex to hide behind them, they have their beard to protect them. Same with Kobe Bryant. Has his wife to hide behind so he comes across as the falsely accused defendent.--------------------------------------------------------------------------------Drugs and alcohol cause sexual offenses to occur. That's too easy a conclusion. I don't ever remember drugs or alcohol being traced on those perpetrators at all. They were completely sober and knew exactly what they were doing.--------------------------------------------------------------------------------Victims of sexual assault often share some blame for the assault. If there was any sharing involved, then wouldn't that be consentual? Does a mugging victim share blame? My only regret is that I didn't assault him back!--------------------------------------------------------------------------------If a victim does not say "no" or does not "fight back," it is not sexual assault. When I was little, I was asked everytime if I liked it, to which I always said "No". The very last time, when I was asked if I liked it, I figured saying no made him continue and that if I said yes, he'd stop but he ejaculated on me. I'm very aware that what I wanted and didn't want was a non-issue with them all. Me saying no only meant that they'd persist to get what they wanted, that no was a hurdle for them to jump over. It felt like a competition, so see how many "no's" it took until they got what they wanted. I lost.