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He did it again

08 January 2011
Posted by AMYS1974 
He remarried and he raped his new wife. I honestly thought he wouldn't do that to someone else I truly just thought he hated me so much and that's why he did that to me. I feel so guilty. If I would have reported it than maybe she could have been spared. I hate myself right now. I was such a coward and now she is alone fighting this demon. I called her and we talked. It was amazing that he treated her the same as he treated me. I really didn't think he would do that to anyone else. I know now it's not me it's him. I thought I brought the worst out of him but I was wrong. It's him. Its all coming back so fast and I don't want to face it but I have to. I wish I could take her pain away I wouldn't wish that on anyone. Now he is in jail and the kids don't know. It's crazy he is so disgusting and just ruins everyones life. I bet he has done this to other women. So sickening.

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5 Comments On This Entry

I understand fully where you are coming from...My brother molested me and I honestly thought it was a kid thing, than he moleseted his daughter...I felt responsible...but we are not responsible they are. We will learn from these things and make better decisions in the future. Please hang in there.
BeverlyC, 08 January 2011 - 09:03 PM
Wow! That is such a burden for you to have to feel responsible! But you are NOT!!! Through my past, I was the one to come forward with the police when I was 13. You know what happend with the abuser? Nothing! He got off with everything and everyone thought that I was a liar. After I reported everything to the poilce and nothing happend, he was at it again hurting myself and others. And trust me, I felt aweful that he (the abuser) was not punshed for it and I felt that it was my fault that he was able to continue to hurt myself and someone dear to me... my sister. I blamed myself wondering why my story was not believed, wondering what I did wrong. It is not your fault! Even if you were to report what had happend, who is to say that anything would have come of this reporting? He could have gotten off free just like my abuser did. So please, do NOT feel that this is your fault, because it is NOT! And by the way, there is nothing that you or another victom could do to have an abuser abuse just you. You are NOT the problem, the abuser is! Don't ever feel that you did this to yourself b/c you brought the worst out in him! You do not give yourself enough credit! No matter how you treat someone, even if it is horrible... this should never happen to anyone! And I felt that way for the longest time too.. that I brought this on myself. NOT TRUE! You are worth more than that, and you deserve better than that and you also deserve to give yourself a lot more credit than you do!! You are a stronger person to not advoid the whole topic with this other lady. You reached out to help her!! Your not only helping her through this mess now by having to relate to what happend and be there for her, but you also are making yourself stronger by being able to talk about it with her! Good luck and start giving yourself more credit! YOUR A STRONG PERSON AND REMEMBER, YOUR HELPING OTHER PEOPLE THROUGH THIS HORRIBLE MESS THAT YOU HAD WENT THROUGH TOO!! THAT TAKES A LOT, FOR PEOPLE TO DO THAT!
aloneinthisworld, 09 January 2011 - 08:48 AM

aloneinthisworld, on 09 January 2011 - 08:48 AM, said:

Wow! That is such a burden for you to have to feel responsible! But you are NOT!!! Through my past, I was the one to come forward with the police when I was 13. You know what happend with the abuser? Nothing! He got off with everything and everyone thought that I was a liar. After I reported everything to the poilce and nothing happend, he was at it again hurting myself and others. And trust me, I felt aweful that he (the abuser) was not punshed for it and I felt that it was my fault that he was able to continue to hurt myself and someone dear to me... my sister. I blamed myself wondering why my story was not believed, wondering what I did wrong. It is not your fault! Even if you were to report what had happend, who is to say that anything would have come of this reporting? He could have gotten off free just like my abuser did. So please, do NOT feel that this is your fault, because it is NOT! And by the way, there is nothing that you or another victom could do to have an abuser abuse just you. You are NOT the problem, the abuser is! Don't ever feel that you did this to yourself b/c you brought the worst out in him! You do not give yourself enough credit! No matter how you treat someone, even if it is horrible... this should never happen to anyone! And I felt that way for the longest time too.. that I brought this on myself. NOT TRUE! You are worth more than that, and you deserve better than that and you also deserve to give yourself a lot more credit than you do!! You are a stronger person to not advoid the whole topic with this other lady. You reached out to help her!! Your not only helping her through this mess now by having to relate to what happend and be there for her, but you also are making yourself stronger by being able to talk about it with her! Good luck and start giving yourself more credit! YOUR A STRONG PERSON AND REMEMBER, YOUR HELPING OTHER PEOPLE THROUGH THIS HORRIBLE MESS THAT YOU HAD WENT THROUGH TOO!! THAT TAKES A LOT, FOR PEOPLE TO DO THAT!
GLADYS75, 09 January 2011 - 08:35 PM
you know these words may have not been ment for me,but i can relate to them personally. i was 13 years old when i was sa,and its as real as life is to me when i try to go to sleep at nite... its as if your there again reliving it all over again. but for me the beast that caused it got his punishment but it was the easy way out he died 10 years ago this past november as well as the others that hurt me. and i still harbor all of the pain and the torment and anger and hating myself etc... but i know in my own heart that i didnt ask for it that its not me that was evil it was him
GLADYS75, 09 January 2011 - 08:40 PM
Thank you all for your encouraging words. And I did try and tell my pastors wife one time when he did that to me she just started praying over me casting out lust from me. It made me feel like it was my fault. I knew nobody would listen plus it was so embarrassing that I was in a relationship like this. I was scared and was worried that me and my kids would be left with nothing. Stupid I know but that's how I felt then.
AMYS1974, 03 April 2011 - 07:55 PM
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