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I keep pushing my husband away. I don't know why all I know is it helps with the pain I feel. I want to hurt someone. I don't want to hurt him. I want the hurt to go away but it doesn't and I keep pushing. I need to go and ease my pain somewhere. No I'm not talking about suicide or anything. I jsut can't do this anymore I need it to go away and it's not. I hate being this fucked up. I wish I wasn't.
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