Jump to content


AMYS1974's Blog



Photo

I can't believe I'm back here again

Posted by AMYS1974 , 18 November 2012 · 61 views

I just want to get over this crap seriously. I can't even walk in the dark without my heart beating out of my chest and sweating profusely. This is crazy. I always think someone is going to attack me and I've been barracading myself in my room again at night I hate this. I don't feel like I can talk to anyone about this but a counsler and I ca...


Photo

Frustrated.......

Posted by AMYS1974 , 02 May 2011 · 13 views

Well I just woke up feeling incredibly bitchy....I wrote the victims right activist because NOONE has called me from JRB this is so annoying. I held all this shit in for so long and now that it's out in the open and I want to get help noone is responding. I got a call from one of the agents working the case he left a message saying they are still inve...


Photo

Frustrated.......

Posted by AMYS1974 , 02 May 2011 · 8 views

Well I just woke up feeling incredibly bitchy....I wrote the victims right activist because NOONE has called me from JRB this is so annoying. I held all this shit in for so long and now that it's out in the open and I want to get help noone is responding. I got a call from one of the agents working the case he left a message saying they are still inve...


Photo

well......

Posted by AMYS1974 , 14 April 2011 · 15 views

I'm feeling quite sick to my stomach. I can't seem to get over this and it's getting quite annoying. Good news though I am going to talk to a victim rights advocate tomorrow so hopefully I can start counseling. This case is driving me nuts now they are continuing until May. It would be nice to have it over with. He is so annoying and just caus...


Photo

Ugh

Posted by AMYS1974 , 06 April 2011 · 17 views

Well my middle daughter called me yesterday and told me her grama told her that her dad wanted her to know he is being charged with sexual assualt but she is not allowed to tell her older sister or younger brother! My kids are 20 in May, 18 and 16 in May so he wanted her to carry this all by herself because he is a sick disgusting person. She called m...


Photo

I'm so scared right now.

Posted by AMYS1974 , 03 April 2011 · 11 views

I got a call from the investigator and they are opening up two cases one civilian and one military against my ex. I didn't want this I don't want to face this. I hate that I have to even talk about this. I wanted to just forget it all. And I can't even remember dates or anything. My kids are going to know and I worked soooo hard hiding everyth...


Photo

He did it again

Posted by AMYS1974 , 08 January 2011 · 12 views

He remarried and he raped his new wife. I honestly thought he wouldn't do that to someone else I truly just thought he hated me so much and that's why he did that to me. I feel so guilty. If I would have reported it than maybe she could have been spared. I hate myself right now. I was such a coward and now she is alone fighting this demon. I calle...


Photo

I just keep pushing

Posted by AMYS1974 , 13 April 2009 · 7 views

I keep pushing my husband away. I don't know why all I know is it helps with the pain I feel. I want to hurt someone. I don't want to hurt him. I want the hurt to go away but it doesn't and I keep pushing. I need to go and ease my pain somewhere. No I'm not talking about suicide or anything. I jsut can't do this anymore I need it to go...


Photo

Still here

Posted by AMYS1974 , 13 April 2009 · 7 views

I am still here. I was thinking the majority of the flashbacks were gone since it's been so damn long since the rape. But my new husband was joking around with me in the bathroom and was pretending to have sex with me on the sink and it came back fast. Really fast. I had to say quit it or something like that and move away from him because it was like...


Photo

zzzzzz

Posted by AMYS1974 , 22 October 2007 · 9 views

I'm too tired and drained to write right now. Maybe after I sleep some.






April 2015

S M T W T F S
   1234
567891011
12131415161718
19202122232425
26 27 282930  

Recent Entries

Recent Comments

Pandora's Aquarium, Inc. is not intended to be a substitute for professional assistance. All members and visitors are encouraged to establish a relationship with a trained counselor, therapist, or psychiatrist. Pandora's Aquarium, Inc. offers rape and sexual abuse survivor-to-survivor support only. Despite any qualifications staff or members possess, they are not engaged in a professional relationship with any other member. Survivors in crisis are urged to seek local help by contacting 911 or their local rape crisis center. Use of this website constitutes acceptance of the Terms of Service located here.