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wow...found out this week how many real friends i have. i think i can count them on one hand. i use to have friends i could talk to...about just about anything. people would call me and just want to "talk". no one calls, no one texts, no one even comments on any of my posts on here or on facebook. i guess i've pushed so many people away from me over the years, that i finally got what i asked for. nobody. my girls are grown and gone. have lives of their own.
my best friends are my dogs and my grandbaby. my mom has alzheimers. talking to her is more useless. my sister is now my boss so that doesn't work anymore. dad & i still haven't spoken in years. i do have 1 real friend that i can talk to but i hate unloading on her all the time.
i was in my sis' office today and she was adding all kinds of people as her friends. she was joking about it..saying she had totally forgotten some of those people existed. amazing, some of the people i had requested friends for that we had both grown up with, friended her and mine still says pending....wth???
my ex sis in law, the only one from that family that ever gave a shit about us, or atleast that's what i thought....she made a new facebook page and friended my girls and didn't even send me a request. really? wow. i deleted her phone number from my phone. at first i thought she had maybe overlooked it, but if my girls are there...
maybe this is why people don't like me. i'm just too damn depressing. i used to be fun, i think. am i too bitchy?? do i complain too much?? or did i just push everyone away cuz i wanted to be left alone??
maybe it's cuz i hate myself. i hate myself so others hate me too. what a wonderful thought.
my best friends are my dogs and my grandbaby. my mom has alzheimers. talking to her is more useless. my sister is now my boss so that doesn't work anymore. dad & i still haven't spoken in years. i do have 1 real friend that i can talk to but i hate unloading on her all the time.
i was in my sis' office today and she was adding all kinds of people as her friends. she was joking about it..saying she had totally forgotten some of those people existed. amazing, some of the people i had requested friends for that we had both grown up with, friended her and mine still says pending....wth???
my ex sis in law, the only one from that family that ever gave a shit about us, or atleast that's what i thought....she made a new facebook page and friended my girls and didn't even send me a request. really? wow. i deleted her phone number from my phone. at first i thought she had maybe overlooked it, but if my girls are there...
maybe this is why people don't like me. i'm just too damn depressing. i used to be fun, i think. am i too bitchy?? do i complain too much?? or did i just push everyone away cuz i wanted to be left alone??
maybe it's cuz i hate myself. i hate myself so others hate me too. what a wonderful thought.
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We are all here for you at Pandy's any time you want to talk. And please don't hate yourself, you don't deserve that. Sending you positive thoughts and energy
Facebook? I used to be one that really didn't care if people were my friends or not. I think it just really sank in and became really personal when it was someone I had been close to for over 20 yrs and all of a sudden, without warning, I'm cut off from her life. THAT may be a direct result of my ex. I just wish she would have said something to me directly instead of me finding out myself.
I don't think quitting facebook would be an option. Most of my "friends" now on there are more for me to play games with. It keeps my mind occupied so I don't think about the past. If I think too much, it's not a good result sometimes. I read...I try to escape in books too. I go every Saturday and play all day with my grandson. That little boy does more for me than any T could ever do. He always is happy to see me and puts a smile on my face when nothing else will.
I hope this week is much better than last week. Thank you both for responding....when I get down & depressed I just have to reach deep down and pull myself out of it. Sometimes, I go to a deep dark place and I just have to tell myself to stop and get back to reality.