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dumped the sleeping pills

Posted by Steve , 05 November 2007 · 4 views

I have finished my exams and as such I have dumped my sleeping pills. I haven't had any in the last 2 nights. the first night I didn't get any sleep at all, the second night I think I managed 4 or 5 which is good for me. I have noticed that I didn't wake up this morning with a headache, this is the first time in like 3 months that I haven'...


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new challenges new achievements

Posted by Steve , 30 October 2007 · 4 views

I got real internet on now and can finally get into chat. It is real good, like a step further in the process.
Got triggered though. we were talking about how people have survived and I just all of a sudden felt like I had been hit in the stomach. I don't know what caused it but I had the feeling for about 20 mins before going back to chat where we ta...


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Songs I use to cope

Posted by Steve , 17 October 2007 · 4 views

I have often found music to be very empowering. I used to lock myself away in my room and listen to certain songs over and over again.
It seems that I am doing it again now.
here are the lyricks to the 3 main songs I am listening to at the moment. they are all by Manowar (Heavy metal)
I just feel like I can cope after listening to them.

Courage:
Som...


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T somorrow

Posted by Steve , 15 October 2007 · 34 views

Real stressed about starting T tomorrow
Don't know what to expect.
Sort of asked for help but couldn't even get this right.
I just it is like this is my last attempt I don't know how Iam going to go , I am scared that I will get minimised again.
still going to keep it to the sleep stuff but i reckon the T will see right through me and I won...


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Got ambushed into T by doctor

Posted by Steve , 09 October 2007 · 4 views

Went to the Doctor today to apply for Special Consideration. We were talking about the sleep thing, I showed him my appointment for the sleep clinic for March next year. I mentioned that I was applying on several grounds.
He told me that he thinks I should see a T. He sais that he can organise one free for 12 sessions. I agreed and he made me an appointme...


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Year 10

Posted by Steve , 04 October 2007 · 38 views

OK, like I have said, i had developed a bit if a sense of humour, more likely bcame a smartares. I was still getting smacked around but I got alot of laught in class by doing stupid things. they would often egged me on. I started getting lots of detentions after school and at lunchtime. I was really getting in crap at home for it but I didn't care. To...


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talked to a dept of Justice councellor

Posted by Steve , 03 October 2007 · 4 views

Once again got fairly depressed yesterday. I just have so many questions. I have posted alot and think that maybe I have doing too much of this. I sort of feel like a moth attracted to the light. I just keep hooking back in.
Offered to do some writing on bullying after to replying to Justin and Gabe But. I feel realy stange doing this. When I replied to...


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Advice

Posted by Steve , 02 October 2007 · 4 views

Just gave advice to Justin about being bullied. I hope he is all right, It really hits home when it is happening to someone else.
I don't think he is letting on all that is happening but i can understand that. I just hope he can sort the problem. I found it really wierd, I told him to talk to his teachers and parents even though it never did me any g...


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Year 9

Posted by Steve , 01 October 2007 · 4 views

Year 9 had finally learnt to hold most of my emotion in so that I didn’t break down as often. I started developing a sense of humour so that people outside of school would think of me as the funny one, and wouldn’t expect anything serious from me.
I started obsessing about protecting myself. I was already collecting weapons and my favourite movie was, st...


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Term 4 and year 8 overview

Posted by Steve , 27 September 2007 · 31 views

Term 4.
As I have already said, there wasn’t really anything new happening now, just repeats of old shit. I was sort of just existing and I would cry at the drop of a hat. I felt so alone and began doing stupid things to try to win some friends. I really only exceeded in hurting myself more.
I was feeling sick all the time. I went to bed and cried like I...






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