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My name is Rebeca, I was born in Peru's capital Lima (that's South America) and I lived there until I was 9 when I traveled with my family to Guatemala a country in Central America, I continued to live there and maybe remain here for the rest of my life, who knows.
I was 7 when I decided I wanted to be an artist, I wanted to draw cartoons and to make ppl happy with them, to make them laugh when sad or to give them someone to relate to when thinking they were alone. I stand by that thought today as I did back then. But my parents didn't find it so incredible or nice... I turned out to be anything but what they wanted, which was a girly girl, popular at school, 1st place at everything and someone who would obbey their every word without hesitation or doubt.
Don't have to say I'm not like that... never was... never will be. I'm shy, a loner, antisocial, weird, geek and a tomboy.. not to mention I always speak my mind even if it gets me in trouble, so no... I was never the favorite among my 4 brothers and sisters and I was labeled as the black sheep of the family by the age of 13. That's about when I became depressed and started having suicidal thoughts.
What takes you to think about death at such an early age? I don't know... I just did... but it ended up around 2007 when I started to go to College and decided against self injury and suicide. I looked for help and managed to forget about suicide AND I haven't hurt myself in 4 years already, but it also left me with the notion of 2 things I sometimes wish I didn't know...
I'm addicted to self injury... that's one I didn't thought was posible but later realize how true it is.
I was raped... my phsycologist couldn't explain what I felt and thought until she insisted me too much to go to a doctor and I found out I was not virgin as I thought I was and to her knowledge the only reason for the state of my hymen was one little word... RAPE.
Can't say I broke down and cried... she tried to comfort me and said it was the inside that mattered but I felt numb. It took me a while to finally take it in and accept it, then I cried... like a little kid... angered tears full with rage and frustration, full with confusion and lonelyness.
After that I started to read books about it and post traumatic effects, finally I came to this forum and tried to re-evaluate my life for good, go back to college, get a job, get a boyfriend, grow up... so, here I am right now... engaged, you could say happy and I can say alright... cause it's after all the fruits of years of fighting myself and others...
So... I'm a peruvian,23 years old graphic designer, living in Guatemala, a teacher during mornings a renegade artist at night... cat lover, anime lover, book worm, geek, otaku, lover, daughter, sister, friend and what not... my life continues and that's what matters.
Mina... mata ashita!!